I watched the first ten seconds of the Twitter video and had to stop, when she said this:

This isn’t going to be news to anybody, but journalistic standards of objectivity are completely incapable of dealing with the situation in which the White House is occupied by a liar and a con man. Entire generations of journalists have been trained to assume that both sides of any issue are occupied by people…

Dude on Crazy Delicious grilled an entire jerked watermelon to look like a ham. It even sliced like ham.

Theaters already lost my business before the pandemic because audiences are so unrelentingly rude. Put your cell phones away. Stop talking to one another. Don’t come to the theater if you have a god damn cold. Don’t put your feet on the seats in front of you. If you’re thinking of making a loud comment on the off…

“Name the three branches of government?....so easy for me, very few people can do it but so easy. It’s....me....most important, number one of three....uh....Ivanka, the hottest branch...and....Colonel Sanders, head of our powerful, beautiful military. You know, when I got into office, the shelves were empty of drumstic…

...realize by the end of his life (after all of the damage was done) what a horrible shit he was.

“Our racism is polite and happens behind closed doors. It’s subtle and buried deep in policy changes and laws. Being an obnoxious racist in public is so undignified and low class. We can’t be associated with such shenanigans.”

What makes you think it’s not intentional?

Reagan can still beat Trump on a cognitive test.

My school had a principal who came to me before he made any big changes in how we operated to ask why we did it that way. Having been at the school since before the doors opened, having been in the district for a decade before that, having been on the union contract bargaining team for years, I usually knew, and after…

You are dubbed Honorary Scorpio!

I’m getting more of a horror movie or kaiju vibe. It’s the months-long version of that scene where the sheriff stands on the edge of the giant footprint or the room soaked in blood and ectoplasm and swears “Nope, not a monster. Probably just them gangbangers.”

10 year high school reunion out in my boonies hometown. Traveled in from another state. Like 15 people showed up. We all got too drunk and decided to go to the local strip club. Not only were people we graduated with working at the strip club, my high school nemesis and his wife invited me to enjoy a lap dance with…

Dear Monique,

As a Scorpio I must inform you that this list is upside down, and you shall suffer my terrible vengeance. When I get around to it, I do things on MY schedule. *Dons cleavage bearing top, eyeliner*

As a Virgo, I’m surprised we’re so high up on the list. People tend to hate us for ruining fun with things like safety and planning. Unrelated, but not only am I co-Virgos with Beyonce but we are birthday twins!

Astrology stuff is fun to think about and even if you take it seriously it’s not as harmful as, say, a major religion. I’m not an adherent and I understand the scientific reasons why I think things match up with my life experiences, but again, it’s fun.

I don’t believe in horoscopes but am also a totally classic Sagittarius to the point that I wonder if when I was younger I read up on it and then adopted my personality based on it.

Your ratings are correct. I would know, because I’m a Sagittarius and my opinions are always correct.

Or! We can ask our government to fund the arts and the institutions that host them so that they don’t have to go bowing and scraping for donations. We can invest in early art education, engaging our kids in the arts and sending them to a museum or play multiple times a year. The government can do more to sponsor and…