@AtOurGates: I love the V70, I was just rattling off the first wagons that came to mind.

Off the coast of LA... in the daylight. It's obviously a show, not a test. What system would require a daylight test vs a night test?

Dropping an SUV off in valet parking makes me judge the shit out of people. It's like wearing "Crocs" to an opera... don't be "that guy" especially when there's so much awesome available!

The real question is whether oil is actually going up or if the dollar is just going down.

I have had a Norton Dominator and a USDM SR500 cafe since before hipsters were invented (at least nationally), I'm not sure why the Deus machines are now "hipster"

Every car is different with different strengths and weaknesses. I'd suggest that a more useful list would be one ranking the priority in which each system should be evaluated then modified but it's so obvious, start at the tires, and work your way up to the engine but always looking at it as systems or sub systems and…

Both of my sisters bought ford Foci ZX3s with the Zetec/MTX back when I had my SVT and before ford ditched the hatchback. Both cars are still beasts and after multiple crashes and theft recoveries, are alive and kicking.

@outdoorplaces: No bias. Facts are facts. Pontiac is gone so your argument is beyond invalidated.

@bacon117: I see this and the "manure" quote so much it's turned into whitenoise.

The exhibitionist in me was all set for the scanner, but now that they've incentivized refusing it, I'll opt for the more gratifying pat down.

@outdoorplaces: I know right, they sold so many and saved the Pontiac division!

Every automobile GM, Chrysler, and Ford ever produced after 1970.

@Matt White: I was originally thinking Delorean's GTO but that was really just a glorified trim package. The M3 would be good but out of the price range of a "first real job bachelor/bachelorette."

Did anyone else think of a MK1 GTI while reading this?

"The only spectacle that could try to pull more heart strings than these ads would involve Andrea Bocelli singing a live score to the movie "Beaches" in an auditorium filled with Precious Moments figurines as painted by Thomas Kincade."

@alan505: Hell, for me that's just ordering whitworth tools.

@IfOnlyIHadTheMoney: In the words of an un-identified Kennedy "Well... I wish I would have thought of that before I killed her."

The E-type

@pidgeonsplatz: Personally, I prefer the "If even one child's life is saved" vein of rationalization. It's more absurd and just as effective so it's a higher tier troll.

So it's either designed to catch really really dumb people or something more nefarious.