Lucas is the designated Idiot Ball holder whose job is to put the brakes on and cause conflict. (Mike is the designated protagonist whose job is to press the gas and move forward. Will gets stuffed in a fridge for motivation.)

They’re male children in the 80s. I had literally same haircut from toddler to eighth grade, when I refused to get it cut any more and grew it out instead.

Yeah, they’re great, and this show kind of suffers from having to try to make something out of Mike/Lucas/Will without Dustin there to be an actual character to round out the set of Mr. Protagonist, Mr. Idiot Ball, and Mr. Fridged.

I’m just hoping he gets eaten.

I guess they’re sticking to their retro 80s guns here: If it wasn’t creepy in the 80s, it’s not too creepy for Stranger Things.

It’s true, but he shouldn’t say it.

I loved The Lion King (my childhood bedroom still has a big Lion King poster up on the wall, some 10+ years after my mom took it over for a study), but like 60% of that is down to visuals so I’m profoundly disinterested in the remake.

Also, are they all so young they missed, like.. Lost? And Dexter?

Damn. Welp, I guess America had a pretty good run.

Ugh, the videos. Video was what took the whole thing downhill in the first place.

The review still makes it sound like it’s better than the F&F franchise.

“When someone describes their attraction to a certain group, racial or otherwise, as “a thing,” that usually means they see members of that group as things” is some grade-A bibble. I have a thing for redheads and for petite guys, so I guess I don’t see redheads or petite guys as people, then? Jesus Christ.

Ah, fuck. I’m too old to have a celebrity crush. Stop it, William. Stop it right now.

The Alvin & The Chipmunks movies are at least as good as, if not on the whole better than the Star Wars movies.

I’ve had a number of partners ask me to hook a finger in their mouth recently. It seems to be trending.

You better wise up, Janet Weiss.

I think we’ve all been ready since however long it took us to finish reading the description of his awkward bad date.

OK, so it’s like Fast & Furious except more intelligent and interesting, and also goofy and fun instead of po-faced and tedious?

It’s also woven into the thin, wispy baby hairs on the almost-nude other 85% of his scalp, to make it stay in place.

I’m honestly surprised Putin doesn’t have a really blatant hair transplant to go along with his generally plumped up and smoothed out Beverly Hills housewife face.