Cancel everyone who's ever been to a country club while you're at it

Hey, guys! We did it! They (barely) changed the title of the article!

Is there a difference between "pickled cucumbers" and say...y'know, a pickle?

I was gonna say I was pretty sure I had read about this forever ago. Shit, I think even Cracked did an article about the VP in which they mention she was crowned and mentioned she said she had no idea of it’s racist history.

To be fair, with your plumbers crack you probably gave them the hairy eyeball first.

two old white ladies, just before close, asked my manager when we were going to take down our BLM sign and he just said “Fucking never!” and sent them on their way.

i love you

at the very god damn very least this will maybe MAYBE make someone think twice about buying a giant truck they don’t really need if they realize they can’t see someone walking in front of their fake big rig

you’re an asshole

checking the website...I wanna know about “Just A Gal”

nope. Fuck ‘em. Grackles too.

legit thought the “Celtic Women” sketch was about to be a Zamfir (master of the pan flute) riff...basically the same and equally as good as I could think

my interactions with Ellefson were always more pleasant than with Mustaine, but Ellefson is weirdly suuuuper religious and I could definitely see him doing some weird shit like this

should’ve been Lars

Beyond Sausages are where it’s at. The ground beef made my entire house reek for days

Everyone forgets about Lovitz :(

Fool me once....

Wair, “Twisted Brown Trucker” is the one that DOESN’T have sweat tea (or twisted tea for that matter)? That’s just stupid.

Healthy doses of bleach oughta do it

not to make light of ANY of this, but that last line made me come up with an entire Jeff Foxworthy bit in my head replacing “you might be a redneck” with “you might be a sexual predator”.