How am I doing?

Free up that right hand with this Masturbator’s Convenience Package:

For those ready to accuse Raphael of acting:

Sometimes you write good articles.

You might call this An Car.

Congratulations, Mr. einTier, on today’s COTD! I would like to gift you with a PT Cruiser which this lovely lady will bring to you if she doesn’t fall off her shoes.

Apparently the Holy Hand Grenade was at a different track

You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?

So many odd features, but I really dig the E-2C Hawkeye

Eventually, someone on Jalopnik is going to have their Craigslist ad nominated by another user, at which point the mother of all internet arguments breaks out.

Not true!

The Porsche ad says “fuel: diesel”. That must be why it’s so expensive. It’s got to be the world’s only diesel 911.

Awesome. So the cocksuckers that moved into an area WITH AN ACTIVE RACETRACK bitched to the county about noise to the point that they’re essentially going to put the track out of business.

Everyone is all dressed up and then there’s this guy walking around in jeans and a denim jacket.