One more CON: Bon Temps Home Depot sells some seriously shitty quality shovels. In seven years, I don't think we ever saw Sookie actually do Leg Day. So, those shovels have to have to be made out of balsa wood.

Thank you so much for your years of service to the shared insanity that was loving True Blood, Meredith.

So...the question now becomes...how many pennies can we save in the next week to buy the Fangtasia throne for Meredith? http://screenbid.auctionserver.net/view-auctions/…

Old Plan: Open the bar and there will be customers because it's the only place in town

PRO: Good on you, Sam Merlotte, for finally doing the smart thing. Now PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, True Blood Writers...do not contrive some bullshit excuse for him to come back to Bon Temps in the finale. Let sleeping dogs lie!

And considering that there is no cast listing for the Giant's Wife, I am expecting the back half of the movie to be a hot, steaming pile of crap.

Has anyone seen evidence that there will actually be songs in this? I am really starting to think it is just one big con game at this point.

Number of times I screamed "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" at my TV with such vigor that my cats went into hiding: 8

GROOT SUIT RIOT!!!

I'm currently operating under the theory that "godosauce" is Kevin Eastmam's Kinja account.

And those teeth...like a military cemetery.

Can someone please take the Hep-V Pity Sex scene and overdub it with either the Charlie Brown sad music or the Lonely Man theme music from the 70s Incredible Hulk show? I feel like this is something that should exist.

Next in line is for Jessica's vlog to turn into Civil War flashbacks of Bill

Pro: EVERYONE SING! "My Hoyt-friend's back and you're gonna be in trouble. Hey lah hey lah my Hoyt-friend's back."

as I said on Twitter...this is the ultimate PRO that has ever and will ever exist. This is beyond amazing and you deserve ecery last thing they sent you. I'm just glad I could be along for the recap ride all these years. Congrats Meredith!

You left out the Bill Compton Civil War flashbacks where he witnesses the birth of the IRS in 1862 and how deeply it affected him and he carried that angst all the way forward to today.

And one more CON:

When the fucking Yakuza cars showed up, I yelled "Are you shitting me?!?" at my TV. While I'm sure they could have been more offensive if some how they got the still mostly fresh corpse of Mickey Rooney to play one of the Yakuza, but damn.

CON: "HI ALCIDE'S JACKET" can't compare.

True Blood vampires don't go into comas during the day. They don't even actually have to sleep. The only problem is when they don't, they get the "bleeds". We saw it back in season 2 or 3, I think. Essentially if they don't sleep, they start bleeding from the eyes and ears.