So, we're winding down for the holidays, and I didn't want to give Marah more work by throwing another Great Job, Internet her ways, so I'm just going to post this here:

I turned 40 this year, but it didn't really hit me until I had to pick my favorite song of the year and realized that I've listened to virtually nothing new, apart from Kendrick Lamar, which I already wrote about for a best-of. So now I feel really old. (which is why I punted and went with the Tripledent Gum jingle)

I honestly thought you were talking about this:

No, but I am available to do rewrites!

None, because no one pays money to see vaudeville. I'm happy with the Loew's Jersey putting on anything that makes them enough money to keep running.

I didn't write that one, but I agree it's a great role for Oldman.

But with Maxwell's gone, where else am I supposed to see stupid indie bands?

I have long asserted that Jersey City is full of bastard people, and now I have proof!

I'm honestly very curious to learn what the Jehovah's success rate is. How many doors do they have to knock on before they get invited in? A dozen? A hundred? A thousand? Unless the Jehovah's Witness in question is Prince. I'd imagine his getting-invited-in rate is very close to 100%.

I live in Jersey City, which has a beautiful old movie palace that's been converted to a JW church, and I'm half tempted to sit through the Jehovah's sales pitch just to see the inside of the place.

So, basically, sticking -ollywood on the end of stuff is as pervasive and idiotic as putting -gate on the end of every scandal.

Enjoy it while you can, because I'm about 5 million weeks away from running out of material!

I can only speak for myself, but I think having kids lends itself to a solitary profession. I have a lot more time to write now that I never go out!

This might be my favorite Talk page so far. I love how strongly someone objects to the ice cream story. "Sure, he had drug problems and syphillis, but I will not have you slander this good man's name by saying he wasted ice cream!"

I'm pretty sure if you read every 3-year-old boy's mind, you just hear, "Choo-choos. Choo-choos. Snacks. Choo-choos."

Depends on how into trains they are. It's really aimed at preschoolers, but I'd be delighted to hear kids that age would still be into driving a train through a book while a very simple story gently unfolds.

Stop the presses!!!!!

I do wish we had the budget for Minor Contributor Makes Out With Lupita Nyong'o While Rolling Around On Pile Of Thousand Dollar Bills Every Friday. But writing about Wikipedia articles is okay too, I guess. [sigh]

You can just send those to my home address…

Dammit, you're onto me!