Amnesty International's really dropping the ball on this one.

Years ago I read a horrifying story about a pet ferret, and so now I have nothing but bad associations there. Apparently this couple had a pet ferret that got into their baby's crib and ate seven of its fingers. They immediately killed the animal, but I just keep thinking of that kid, going through life mutilated…

I love the image of someone getting glue in their hair, looking up what to do on Wikipedia, having no luck, posting something on the Talk page, and then waiting there, glue drying, hoping for a response.

It's not meant to have bearing on hairstyles. Every week's column ends with a succession of links that leads to the next column. Cornrows links to sub-Saharan Africa, which links to chimpanzees, which links to exotic pets. I usually talk about each of those links a bit as I go through them. A big part of the Wikipedia…

Just last week, I pitched a Natasha Lyonne/Alia Shawkat comedy for Siblings Week, and now Hollywood one-ups me!

A) How much do you want to bet they gamed the study so the last result would be 69?

No lie, his wife just had twins. He comes back from paternity leave this week.

So, sometimes a cigarette isn't just a cigarette?

As far as I can tell, nearly every pre-Judaism religion was about fertility. Humanity depended on a steady supply of babies, and crops to feed them. Take a look at the ancient Irish gods — every single goddess is a fertility goddess. The goddess of fire, and fertility. War, and fertility. Horses, and fertility.

I suspect they were motivated to keep JJ Abrams happy, just in case he had another Lost in him. Besides, there's no way Fringe lost money over the long haul once you factor in DVD/streaming.

If I accomplish one thing in my time at The A.V. Club, it's to remind people of how great Fringe was.

Damn it, where were you when I was writing this thing? That's gold! Gold!

I actually researched that for this very web site! (see the last link in the article) Someone did do zero-G porn filmed on a vomit comet, although it reportedly only has about five seconds of actual weightless action.

In space, no one can hear you scream, but better safe than sorry!

Someone invented such an apparatus. Click the link at the bottom of the article, and then scroll to the bottom of that article.

Don't blame me, blame the stupid English language!

Huh. I didn't realize that. Now my lifelong hatred of Delaware is retroactively justified.

I lost my virginity in 1995. And I discovered Guided By Voices. Therefore, human history peaked in 1995.

That's my plan if I ever do get divorced, but history suggests everything that moves will object to the plan.

Yeah, sorry about the 2-week absence. I got swamped with work and personal stuff two weeks ago, and AV Club didn't publish on Memorial Day, so they had already planned to give me that week off.