miketheburrito
miketheburrito
miketheburrito

Sounds like somebody’s reading emails from his producers about advertiser defections!

Someone tell Trump that Obama used to love showing people how much pain he could take by repeatedly hitting his balls with a hammer. Obama’s record was 12 shots in a row.

Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

This needs to appear higher on the comment list. Nothing says “bang me” like the reminder there will be food afterwords.

Welcome to Ban Week, in which Splinter writers build a case for burning it all down.

I’m sure there are good people on both sides of these hate crimes.

Welcome to Ban Week, in which Splinter writers will build a case for burning it all down.

At least it would draw the eyes away from that vest.

To put it more compactly: if you change Obamacare’s name to Trumpcare but leave the rest of the program exactly the same, Trump’s poorly informed, cult of personality supporters will immediately reverse course and declare it the best thing ever.

Good god when did the country get so stupid?

The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

At its current rate of decay, Fox News’ programming c. 2022 will just be crazed, geriatric white guys drawing mustaches and devil horns on Hillary Clinton’s publicity photos.

Just chiming in to say that I hope Hannity dies sooner rather than later.

I don’t think Mango Mussolini understands that he has caused The Great White Schism of 2017 from which many white extended families will never recover.

Dear Trump Voters,