I saw this on the interwebs somewhere - not sure who it’s attributed to - but god damn it is spot on and worth a re-post elsewhere.
miketheburrito
miketheburrito
In my virtual kingdoms I’ve put in countless hours to fully gear out my characters. My overwatch gorilla has the finest jackets and hats. My fallout character lives in a beautiful, sprawling city that I custom designed. He even has a stable 401k. I am married to a hulking, horned demon in another game. In the real…
That reminds me of my dad and how he’d drive his IROC-Z onto the court where I was playing youth basketball and skid that thing real close to me while I was trying to shoot a free throw. If I missed, he’d flick a cigarette at me, peel out, and I wouldn’t see him for months. If I made the shot he’d nod at me…
In the industry of internet writing, certain truths become doctrine: Anger is effective, outrage more so, and dead…
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Dr. Kwadwo Safo is, according to his own legend, many things. He is a Pentecostal pastor. He is an inventor. Now he…
Consider—if you will—the fate of the trend, which is to fall dramatically from grace. For instance, these “model”…
Articuno is real, OK? This is a good bird, the best bird. I’ve seen many, many birds and I’ve created thousands of nests. If I was elected to head of Pokémon GO I’d work on legendaries, because legendaries are low, it’s incredible. And I would create more creatures in the inner cities, which is what I really do best,…
Of course he’s full of shit, every single thing he says is a stupid lie. He’ll never debate Clinton in any kind of real neutral setting, he’ll only do it if he can arrange for a moronic circus scene full of screeching idiots who roar over his spastic twitching and dopey insults. He’s a grade-A coward, a sleazy punk, a…
I never understood why Tesla insisted on calling its new battery factory a “Gigafactory.” It’s just a factory, after…
Recommended replacement:
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US State Department spokesman John Kirby was trying to talk to the press earlier today about the efforts to combat…
You’ve tossed a few PokéBalls, caught a few Caterpies, and spun your way to a few items at the PokéStop, but it’s…
Like Bruce Willis drilling himself into the core of an evil asteroid, Third Eye Blind performed to a sea of GOPers…
Lord, this is some nouveau riche bullshit. Regular people don’t need this and won’t buy something that’s just going to jam up the washing machine when you forget it’s on the towel.
Last week, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that the Braves had quietly asked for and received new traffic…
Let’s look back at how this journey began...
I hope they go undefeated and score 1,000 points per game. I hope they melt the arenas in which they play because they make the ball move so beautifully, and so quickly, that the air becomes super-heated with the vigorous masturbation of the assembled angelic hosts of heaven. I hope Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Klay…
In regards to the manufacture of almond milk, does the author know how many priests are required to coax the milk from the dark universe within a given almond? Are we considering that, maybe, there just aren’t enough acolytes or enough strange crystals to go around to fuel this lust? Also, what effect to the almond…
Demon: Hey man, welcome to hell, how was your brief life?