How far can Clayton Kershaw punt a football???

Okay, but...

I think the “cute little stadium over there” bit was actually the worst dig because of how casually he shits all over them.

This is a shot at Mike...not MLS...ease up on that straw man.

Love that he worries so much about how Villa should be pronounced in Spanish, but oblivious to the fact that David might sound differently, too.

Look, soccer is just too boring for a guy who has spent 5 hours a day for 30 years debating middle reliever usage in regular season baseball games.

There should never be an “Escalator Temporarily Out of Order” sign. Just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs: Sorry for the Covenience.”

Odds LeBron James kills Ramsay Bolton with a Chaos Dunk: 100/1

So dumb. +55

I don’t ask for much, but now I desperately NEED the Sixers to win the lottery tonight. Please. For the comedy.

The only reason he joined Twitter is because someone told him he could block people.

IF the 76ers get the #1 pick NBA twitter gonna look like a Pete Carroll message board post.

Once. Just once I’d like to see a Toronto team make a run and not have people climb all over themselves to show the inferiority complex. Jesus christ, who gives a fuck?

Oh, goddamn, this is so embarrassing.

well at least they have teams in the hockey sport playoffs to watch!

Please, mayor, your Regina is showing.

A chimp could have drafted Harper and Strasburg, and wouldn’t have signed Werth, Zimmerman, or Scherzer. That means add $462M to the $450M and you get nearly a billion dollar chimp.

So Theo Epstein is worth the total sum of the national debt then.

He couldn’t find a Cody or a Tyler to pass to, I guess.

That wasn’t his first...