Aman was arrested at an Olive Garden

Thank you for this, that’s how I read it too.

Right? I’m starting to think they only do the press conferences when it was a smear campaign all along, so who gives a shit if the charges stick right?

Ask the diplomats of cuba:

More like Chris left-right-o amirite?

Tried so hard to read it mario’s voice in my head, but I can’t keep jar-jar out!

If the internet taught me one thing...

THIS! Visited my brother in December in SLC, and it was punishing. We went up into the mountains around park city and all of a sudden you can breathe again. Then you look back and realize it was actually a sunny day and that was just smog blotting out the sun. Add in a dozen refineries and an entire populace driving…

Is... Is this some live action Charlie Brown? Is that Snoopy on the doghouse???

I care now. He made me care more.

I seriously can’t unsee that now. Maybe that was secretly deadpool playing hockey

I did too! (almost accidentally said MeToo)

I can’t tell which one you just made my favorite joke of the day, so you both get stars!

I put the business before the name for enhanced phone-screening abilities

Yes, but my method is much easier for me.

This is brilliant, you should do it

Lol definitely dabs. And bless the heart of what I’m assuming is a 70 year old lady that believes the youngs are carrying around sap in parchment paper. She probably wonders why her grandson’s oregano smells like a gosh darn skunk.

And let’s not forget this would have the added benefit of employers intentionally keeping employees under the 20 hr mark, forcing them to hold multiple, shitty-paying jobs.

Hmm, if only there was a congresswoman with those kind of qualifications... /s

T(w)o(o) use all 3 forms of the homophone