Ha, no worries. That’s the best part of the deadspin comments, you never know what you’ll Discover!

The AP reports that the jerseys are currently in Boston being authenticated.

Gonzales needs a little queso to go with that vino.

Better keep that back door locked after hours

Lacy will eat himself to death as soon as he finds Top Pot Donuts

Ty Unlawfulson.

Ah, so this is where the phrase “Ty one on” came from.

Is he still allowed to drive, or is he now a Jock Walk Jayhawk?

“Kid’s got a decent arm, too.”

The world needs a JPP emoji for moments like these

But that’s not the hypothetical. It’s mano a mano.

“Oh, sure, but when I mention anything about canine combat, people lose their minds.”

He has to mentally prepare to fight a wolf because if he tries to run his hamstrings will snap like old rubberbands. At that point it’s advg: wolf, fuckstick.

Appropriate name for your level of familiarity with injuries.

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

Toyota

I heard he was ready to walk away, but the Steelers just don’t take no for an answer...

A team exec publicly saying damning things about a recently departed player is nothing new—it’s a good way to keep a potentially angry fanbase at bay—but given Lawson’s recent spate of DUI arrests, this doesn’t feel like Kroenke just throwing shit at the wall for PR purposes.