I’ve always thought about doing something like this to a 68 Cougar or a 70 Nova, or any of the other more budget classics...

These are all good advice, but I felt the need to point out one caveat: Price.

Why?

I don’t really give a damn who it is.

I’ve always thought the mid 90's accord was nice. Easy to read, big round dials, no nonsense.

This is more of a grammar issue, because, even if we deemed it acceptable to personify a car, this usage would still be incorrect. They are mistakenly referring to a group concept as a proper noun, which makes the “CIA argument” (Proper article) not apply here: 

Wow, that is one hell of an indictment

E46 M3. 35k? 2006 M3 Competition package. Future classic.

So you’re saying that people are not responsible for their own reactions to things out of the ordinary because they’re socialized to find “abcde” strange?

As I’ve explained to several other idiots, what constitutes a stupid name is subjective.

And yet they ended the movie with 2 [totalled] muscle cars that were faster and much better looking. 

Awesome! No more having to order parts from Pizza places...

Thank you and I truly am sorry.

I think it’s more the complaining about being shit on that gets to me. Every generation gets shit on by the one before it.

we were deep in recession when I came out of college with a massive amount of debt

I want you to write down the following from when you were a millennial’s current age:

American courts have historically ruled particularly favorably towards IP holders (looks up EDGE in relation to video games to see how long that lasted...). But the real issue is American companies leveraging those courts and being particularly litigious and ruthless in defending their IP.

Cars like the very Macan-like Zotye have been very successful for Zotye, but will that kind of thing fly in America?

Should an inexpensive but durable & reliable car be a “worst of” car just because it doesn’t have power anything?

The reason the Yugo is on so many “Worst Ever” lists is because most of those lists are based off American standards. Generally speaking, American trends tend to dislike Min-Spec cars; of which the Yugo is a PRIME example of (it was the communist people’s car that felt a Volkswagen Beetle was too premium).