Ocean. A thousand times, the ocean. There is nothing in space. It’s literally just space. I guess, unless you’re Zaphod, it can make you feel shitty due to it’s scale, but if you went up in a rocket you would be able to experience the moon, maybe mars (I’d like to point out that these are not space. They are planets.…

Space is fine. The ocean is scary. If I drift too far from my spacecraft (or it violently succumbs to the vacuum of space while I’m in it), I die fairly painlessly. I slowly lose consciousness and then never wake up, or it happens so fast that I don’t perceive it.

“Hey Honey, I bet I can smuggle 200lbs of uncut cocaine into the USA”

As someone who doesnt care about cycling at all, that might actually get me to tune it for a moment.

They say an explained joke is never funny but I would counter that a joke one does not understand is never funny either.  I thank you for this insightful bit of humor 

I thoroughly appreciate your efforts to provide contextual information that is necessary in order for the joke to fully work.

“Band I never heard of”

Before I make my joke we need a little background here. In 1975 Christopher Plummer starred as Franz Ferdinand in a movie called ‘The Day That Shook the World’ about the assassination of the archduke. Now that you have that bit of information here is the joke:

It was just probably because of the elevation. Baking, boiling water, Franz Ferdinand ...

Bruh, clearly this woman saw the jewelry in Mccoy’s room and claimed it was hers. That’s why she couldn’t produce a list of items that were missing even though she had plenty of opportunities. She was hoping they’d take her at face value. This whole situation sounds sad and weird as fuck, but if I had 50k of jewelry,…

Auto Mechanic: I see the problem

Lol, I was born and raised in Paul Ryan’s hometown, and have biked/ran/played extensively all over town for decades. I never once in my life saw a groundhog there. They only appear to destroy shitty political leaders. Well done, groundhogs, well done.

Has a rising star ever fallen this hard, this fast?

Nah, c’mon. Two players landing pocket kings in the same hand where a third dude lands pocket aces is just unlikely as hell.

You, friend, have a greater faith in humanity than I.

Please understand that all antibiotics (and all medications) have risks and benefits, but don’t imply that “if your doc is handing out cipro for a UTI, at this point they should know better.” You also need to know the local drug resistance profile to know what you should be prescribing. Where I work, E. coli (the…

And that guy is a Fjord Explorer!  Waka waka waka.

Yeah I don’t know I’m in LaGuardia and it makes you stupid. 

but did he kneel? 

“...Police responded to a home invasion at a residence on Hickory Pass near the Cherokee County line.” They arrived via stagecoach, 4 days later as the river was difficult to fjord in the rainy season. Of the 4 responding officers dispatched, 2 perished en route due to dysentery.