Gorillas don't tear people apart. That's chimps. And they don't do it out of rage, they do it to remind us that they don't give a fuck whose brain is most evolved - they're super-strong and can/will bite off all our genitals given the chance.

Man, I say that whenever I go to a zoo. Or a wedding.

A burrito is a delicious meal or (depending on the size) snack.

That was pretty much my impression. It's cool that it's set in space, and the color palette has more purple and green than typical for the MCU. But it bounces from incident to incident without really building any stakes - in part because we know that all of the principles are going to survive for the sequel (PS -…

I do find it a little perplexing when people describe Guardians of the Galaxy as unconventional. It was a relentlessly conventional movie, but I guess it gets a lot of points for having more creative CGI than baseline. I don't have a problem with the premise of "characters doing same old shit in a spectacular…

Now I kind of hope you're making this all up. Her kids are even cool? Goddammit.

I got a Matt Walsh notification for this?

Man, she seems like she'd be a cool person to have dinner with. There aren't many Hollywood folks who give that impression.

From the reviews of this movie, which is more about subtle manipulation and suppressed desire, it would be difficult to gel that with a story about slavery. The options would be to push slavery to the background or to cut slavery out of the story. I can see where someone would take the latter approach.

I feel like I saw that movie about ten years too late. I love it, and I would watch it every week if I had time, which makes me wish I had seen it at a point in my life where I actually could do that.

I remember my first Steam Summer Sale back in 2010 - I bought a few mediocre indie horror/FPS games for about $1, but the experience basically converted all my game-buying to Steam. It's kind of a bummer that they stopped doing flash sales and marking things down 75% - years of that practice has made me consider the…

I'm fond of ME2 (especially the last assault), but I think ME1 is still my favorite of the batch. I actually love the last third of ME3 as much as any game I've ever played (seriously, the scene where you walk from room to room saying goodbye to all your friends who've survived the last two games? It just killed…

It's a thoroughly all right game. There are things about it that I like better than Fallout 3 but overall it feels like an expansion pack, and that game engine has not aged very well. Even with DLC and user mods it doesn't really pick up.

I'm looking at buying Sunless Sea, although I'm uncertain how the experience will go. It seems like something that you can play forever in short bursts.

Hmmm… one time years ago my wife and I spent a cold winter evening eating carry-out burritos and playing Symphony of the Night. As "random evenings where not much happened" go, it's a top-shelf memory.

Years ago my wife and I started watching this movie at bedtime; she fell asleep, and I had this "uh-oh" feeling as I realized there was no way in hell I was going to turn if off before it ended. At 1AM. I had a long day the next day.

I grew up with my brother's hand-me-down comic books, and I loved the shit out of Habitrail ads. I really wanted a small rodent just so that I could get an elaborate Habitrail setup like they advertised in the back pages of Seduction of the Innocent.

"Spagyrex?" I don't work in marketing, but if I were peddling "Female Vitality" products I would make damn sure that my product's name didn't include the word "spay."

We could use another tornado movie. I feel comfortable saying that Twister did not fully exploit the premise.

Wild Things is like a 60s weirdo genre-bending comedy that somehow got made in the mid-90s. The loopy plot, Bill Murray in a neck brace, the titillating but awkward nudity - it's blatantly, proudly ludicrous without being campy per se. I rented it for nudity as a teenager but actually enjoyed it.