Aziz’s bit about G.W. Bush in his opening monologue cracked me up. “What the hell has happened? I’m sitting here wistfully watching old George W. Bush speeches? Just sitting there- ‘What a leader he was!’ 16 years ago I was certain this dude was a dildo, now I’m sitting there like ‘He guided us with his eloquence!’”

I am butting in a bit. Nancy Kerrigan was given all her outfits by Vera Wang. She came from a comfy middle-class upbringing with very supportive parents and was portrayed as this elegant, delicate flower. Yuck. Her routines were boring and soulless. Tonya Harding had terrible parents, was forced to make her own…

This reminds me of how I smile at my boss when we make eye contact and then after she turns aways I crinkle my nose in distaste.

It’s really not that tough to figure out why, is it....?

That’s the most jelly beans ever in one place at one time. Period.

“I want to unite everybody because as a team we’re stronger together.”

You KNOW this is going to get to him.

It’s the best bromance there ever or ever will be. I can help but giggle every time I see them together. It could only have been better if Patrick had been there holding up and Ian poster.

Not sure Sir Ian deals in blue stars, but holy shit! He deserves them all.

“Goldman’s cake, in contrast, was composed of nine differently-flavored layers of cake, because it was an actual cake.” lol for crying out loud, he’s going to pinch pennies on cakes and dresses and still rob the country blind

Tangentially related but how cute is Ian mckellen’s sign for the women’s march?

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FUCK THIS GUY. I’m intoxicated and pissed off, though not entirely coherent. So, FUCK THIS GUY, the fucking fuck.

Get. Her. Name. Out. Of. Your. Mouth. And. Off. Your. Fingertips. (Not you, Brendan. The slimy rat fuck)

FUUUUUUCK THAT GUY

And truth be told I can’t even get angry at them for it. I’m very pro-separating suckers from their money.

Well, at least they’re honest about the fact they’re ripping off stupid people to make some fast cash.

i think that melania does herself no favors standing next to FLOTUS. the genuine warmth next to the steely coldness of excess botox and lack of a soul is very jarring.

I guess you could ask the other side of the question, what’s the purpose of a slow cooker when a rice cooker can do the same thing but is just smaller (and I would add, easier to clean)?