Kid Rock can never live down his first album. Never forget.

COOK PASS BABTRIDGE

Any unaccompanied adult at an event with more than 10 children is a pedophile until proven otherwise. There should be a pithy name form that - like Rule 10. 

Besides being a cliche, a line like “I ain’t no spice Girl” is pretty ironic given that the Spice Girls’ movie - for all its many faults - wasn’t an anonymous biopic.

I’m just hoping they have her do something really wild and creative for the last episode, like fly around shooting CGI lightning.

Correction: showing up on set several hours late.

Catholicism. 

I don’t think good and bad are actually useful metrics for talking about movies. Sometimes accepting the badness of a movie is a prelude to appreciating the things it does well. Not always, but sometimes.

Dick or nothing.

It's hard work polishing a turd. 

Wait Wait wait, why are we bringing up the Squirrel Nut Zippers when we could be bringing up the Cherry Popping Daddies? Like, FM radio DJs were saying the words “Cherry Popping Daddies.” And then playing a song about zoot suits. That’s the 90s in a nutshell.

When it comes to celebrities, the ones who don’t look like they had worn done are just the ones who had the best work done.

Dude made some of the best movies of the 20th century, he's universally beloved, and he spent half a century indulging in sex, delicious food, and good wine. Living to 100 would be showing off. 

I was at a petting zoo with my kids and they were playing a newer country song about how much this dude loved his grandfather, but it had like a chant-along chorus and a 70s-style cock-rock guitar solo, and it was maybe the most hilariously schmaltzy thing I ever heard.

As a former summer intern at the Metropolitan Water District of Greater Chicago, I will say that they have a massive tunnel system and storerooms full of handwritten operations logs, and I always hoped  one of the log books would contain a reference to the Thing in Tunnel 4.

I’m not sure that an octogenarian hedonist like Coppola is going to last long without his wife, and I’m so glad he made this crazy piece of shit. Even if it goes on the long list of “Coppola movies nobody watches and fewer people like.”

He made a career observing the minutiae of the 80s and early 90s, and now that his fussy, inoffensive schtick is old hat, he blames PC culture. It’s actually funny.

I love that movie, and their antipathy toward their millennial vampire spawn was the best part.

Even if that were true, how many times does someone have to pound their head into a brick wall before confirming they dislike it? 

Personally I think there was a recent generational shift in terms of young people’s relationships with their elders. And it drives older folks crazy because they spent their whole lives obliged to listen to the older generation, and now it’s their turn and nobody wants to hear it.