Do you ever think of yourself while watching Wheel of Fortune in the final round when they show "R S T L N E" on the screen? My brain always readjusts it into "R L S T (I) N E."

You better be from Chicago, dog fister. If not you can fuck right off.

Yeah, pretty sure that shirt has nothing to do with Lorde and is just playing off the Chris Brown song "Loyal", where the chorus repeats "These ho's aint loyal".

I don't think this is an ode to Lorde and Royals.... try Chris Brown with "Loyal".

Sorry, no. "Give it a rest" means assholes win. Someone has to have guts and persistence.

Nah, you can have immense respect for the work defense lawyers do and understand why zealous defense is crucial to the functioning of our legal system and still scoff at hack lawyers pushing out slut-shaming press releases for public relations purposes.

There's a single tear in my eye over how quickly Deadspin has forgotton me.

Speaking of racism... Indian? Fake Indian?
Can we expect other articles on Deadspin to refer to Negroes and Orientals?

second only to the Cardinals

I would argue that saying USMNT team is redundant.

Before anyone ever cared who's head I would cover, I was just pate skin from Northeast Ohio. It's where I was covered. It's where I furrowed. It's where I burgeoned. It's where I was combed. It holds a special place in my follicles. People there have seen me grow up. I sometimes feel like I'm their bald spot. Their…

un2or2iva2le????

He fooled Baseball Doucher?! That's unforgivable.

Who the hell would bait clicks by writing about MLS?

Index for regular nostril excavating.

What are you doing in your first photo? Also, make a joke or ask a question in your bio.

this has been the worst week ever, and it's not even close.

YES! I meant to mention this actually.

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