It's no different from Peter's dead uncle. Sometimes characters are written as plot devices. It's lazy writing at worst - not sinister.

particularly of coaching the girl's team.

Better idea: Don't buy a ring because it's a stupid tradition and weddings are stupid.

They want to give them to good teams people care about.

He had it removed as an adult - that's why it made no difference. The skin on the head hadn't desensitized from years of exposure.

Yeah but Deadspin doesn't have "access, favor, or discretion." So they're totes different.

Take my wife, please!

The social commentary is great and all...but it's not a good piece of music.

Beaster is still one of the best albums of all time.

and make a run at one of the proven coaches that could be fired—Tom Thibodeau, Doc Rivers, Frank Vogel

Otoboke is really feigned ignorance, pretending to be stupid.

"We're from the same armor class!"

Yeah, welcome to what every man, ever has felt.

You haven't explained anything. You just keep re-asserting your point. Not a good way to convince someone. No matter who approaches whom, both parties presumably have the same goal - to get a romantic partner. Once they engage with each other it doesn't matter who initiated it.

It's not really obvious because you aren't actually explaining why. How am I considering my time more valuable simply by talking to a person?

Well it's not apt to compare it to a job seeker. I am not seeking employment by hitting on a girl. She will not pay me for my services. A worker gives up their time to provide a service, and the company compensates them for that time. A romantic relationship is not the same as an employer/employee one.

No, it means that I'm interested in them. How does the concept of value of time apply to that?

Equality, shmequality—we're all adults, so let's not pretend we don't know whose time is more valuable here.

Is that Lynch or Lil Jon?

I wouldn't consider it an any% record, either. He didn't complete the game, just executed a glitch that made the end play. Not even the credits, just the enemy roll call!