I wonder how you would have survived before phones, when people had to communicate with letters, written with *gasp* text!

Voicemails suck. They are nerve-racking. You call someone, but never expect to leave a voicemail, because you'll assume they pick up. Then you hear that message, and it seems like that beep always takes too long to play, so you're not sure when to start talking. Then it happens and you have to basically deliver a…

Who are we mocking here?

Hey hey hey, you can bash Simmons all you want, but leave The Challenge out of this. That's the best show on television.

I hadn't seen it.

So he actually got 32 numbers from girls off Tinder? That's pretty impressive.

The US is not the only country in the world that calls it soccer. And it's not really backwards to call it soccer, because IT'S A WORD THE BRITISH MADE UP.

Just focus on getting an expansion team and stop creeping on other cities' teams.

Chiptole's overrated dreck.

Hey, Bar Rescue is pretty good.

The Clippers own their own practice facility. As for Staples Center, I don't believe the Lakers own that, either. It was built for the Kings.

Who said you're picking on me? I'm saying that feeling the need to go on and on about "American" comedy based on one sketch is strange. It's like you're just hoping the next blog post has a sketch in it so you can let everyone know how great your opinion is.

Stating facts isn't a complex, but that's not what you're doing. Posting "HEY GUYS YOUR STUFF SUCKS THIS IS MUCH BETTER" in an article where it's not even relevant is just weird and trolly.

Brits are always so eager to talk about bad awful American comedies are, and how the UK is the zenith of high humor. Inferiority complexes are very complex.

What Christians or Muslims have done doesn't mean we should dismiss Scientologists as harmless nutcases and ignore them.

"so what makes Scientology any worse than your run of the mill evangelical mega church?

Uh oh, looks like someone wants a pity party - and everyone's invited!

They've got to protect their phony baloney jobs!

I don't know about number 2. Maybe people will target those with nice cars more often, but I drive a piece of crap and still get beggars asking me for cash. It happens at the gas station, too, where people can clearly see my old car and would have no reason to believe that I'm loaded. Some people have no shame and…

I did not see that, because it's Seth Meyers.