Every single nice day from April through September. Seriously. Like I said, my kids can be sitting on the couch, eating a Haagen Dazs bar, and they’ll hear the fucking ‘Turkey In The Straw’ music and immediately start hounding me for money.  And they’re 15, with their own damn money!

This gets a NP, but only because my college roommate informed me exactly how profitable a good ice cream route can be. This was in the mid-80s, but he was clearing $5k/month for the 3 months of the summer. After all of his expenses, and his dad was a tax accountant, and he’s a tax accountant now, so you KNOW that they…

Right. Certainly not on this scale, but I have run into similar problems from the business side of it.

Wow, I guess direct sales really is better than franchised dealerships...

Well I had been going to this mechanic for years and thought he was pretty solid. A lot of other people went there too, but after awhile his work went downhill. It was gradual so it took awhile to realize the reason I was going was to talk to the other customers in the waiting room. In the end we realized he was just…

W180 Cabriolet. Still the gold standard of automotive elegance, even after 65 years. The car radiates so much class, even Darth Orange could look elegant in one.

1:

Pardon me, what now? Sounds like some prince has a really great publicist. Might I bring us all back to normal as we enjoy this:

However: a) roadtrip, b) word count and c) happy wife.

Jalopniks make up excuses to justify ridiculous pursuits.

Mercedes is David Tracy if David Tracy had a significant other to talk him out of his worst ideas into ideas that are bad but not quite as bad. 

Buying an old-ass vehicle to haul home another old-ass vehicle you just bought . . . .

“It’s a little more complicated than “Dur, orange man bad!””

The fact that Ford is unwilling to sell vehicles without proper roofs is another reason they're going to fall behind Tesla.

(*Loudly clears throat*) Oh? There’s a semiconductor shortage? I was told by the 45th President of the United States, the “dealmaker” himself Donald Trump that “Trade wars are good, and easy to win.” Are you saying that Honest Donald lied to us? Perhaps China is hoarding semiconductors for themselves because of the…

You, sir, are an American hero.

With FSD, Tesla has also devised blood tests that require only very small amounts of blood and could be performed very rapidly using Model 3/Y/X/S.

I think the heartburn around the kidney grilles really comes from the grille size. The new grille is crazy big for what it currently provides in terms of cooling capacity. But that’s what I love about BMW and why I purchased one (and, later, stocks in the company). They take design moonshots in so many places. The…

The value to the customer of something that does not exist is $0. Anyone paying $10k for this today should just buy $10k worth of lottery tickets instead. Also, you are not getting a discount buying it today. Tesla is not losing money selling this for $10k.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.