Darwin loves careless and clueless watercraft operators.

License plate reads: TOSS SLD

You forgot Limited. I hope he's not limited, though.

This was their playground growing up. They’re built different than today’s people. I’m glad they’re still around.

This.

Noneck Newman is right. Stewart is a proven maestro behind the wheel, but all too often he’s a maestro at being an entitled princess when vying for position on track.

Ninja poseur tools. Ultimate squid uniform. Safety first! T-shirt, shorts, sneakers, helmet and chest plate.... Then go ride like an asshole looking for a place to die. At least the organs will be preserved.

Except beer. Just because one can make a chocolate raisin lite porter doesn’t mean they should. And the guy who gave the green light to Michelobe Ultra should be serving a life sentence in Sing Sing.

Sounds like anyone can fly for Asian Airlines.

I took French I for three years.... Got nowhere. Your English is better than most graduates from our public schools!

waive

That’s some stiff upper lip. In fact it’s a down-right pissed upper lip.

I already got dibs on him for our new Rams. Where the hell was Custer running to when Nemechek dropped him? He looked like he was doing all he could to avoid Nemechek. Nemechek had to re-adjust a couple of times to square up for the tackle.

“Blink” translation: Using the phone.

Dad bought a new ’67 coup in Tulsa, OK. 289 with a rare 3 speed on the floor. I inherited it in ’76 when I got my license in Pennsylvania and then my sister took it to California for college in ‘78. The twit sold it to her boyfriend in ’80 for $500. It was pretty tired after we moving to Pennsylvania and New York,…

We haven’t. It’s not.

I’m forming a Jalopnik posse. Mount your Mustangs.

Jose and Hose B were taken to the hospital. I hope they’re ok.

This is why I wasn’t allowed to paint the baselines for my kid’s little league team. It’s hard not to spill your beer while pushing the chalk roller. It's so low and heavy.

I'm usually the expert at shooting from the hip. I feel better when others do it, too.