" I was disappointed, like a 12 year old boy who actually had sex with Pamela Anderson and found it was only okay." ....Really?

Will they keep the fireplace in the back? It's supposed to be a long cold winter.

Back in July my folks paid an appliance repair man $90 to plug in their dryer. They pushed every button, twisted every dial and shook the hell out of it for two days until the service man showed up. It didn't even have to be moved. The plug was sitting on the floor 8" below the socket in plain view. I told them I…

My front wheel drive Saab 95 can do that all day long on a wet street and I wish it wouldn't.

So there went 45 minutes. My wife gets home in 15, there are critical things left undone on my honey-do list, the dog is ready to eat me after he shits on the floor and the house is completely dark, save for the light of this computer screen. I'm tempted to watch it again. Fascinating stuff. The logistics are an…

Porsche 917 in full throated furry.

One or two assholes can ruin things for hundreds. For this reason capital punishment is necessary.

Today we're tuning our cars with the camera in our pocket. And, it can be used as a phone, too.

Vickers has had a lot of blows to deal with and yet he always shows a good, positive attitude about things. He appreciates stuff that many in his profession take for granted. I wish him well.

Must have been served macadamia nuts in a plastic bag. I know how upsetting that is for some people.

Burn them.

While I'm patiently waiting to sit in the brand new $75,000 car, on display at the L.A. Auto Show, a snotty-nosed, smelly, sticky-fingered 6 year old brat is jumping on the driver's seat, touching every button and lever in his reach and spitting out a motor noise for 5 minutes. The urge to cold-cock his admiring dad…

1983 also saw the first in-dash cup holder in the, (also first) Dodge Caravan and Plymouth Voyager mini vans.

Jag XJC V12

That's a Lambo, Dude.

Why make these autonomous robots/buddis/cars so damn small? I want a huge one. An RV! Loaded. I'd make sure my commute was at least 10 to 15 hours a week.

Who's leg does one hump to come inside with the cool Jalopnik kids? I'm always out in the Show Pending yard.

Larchmont, NY train station, 7:00 Pm on a freezing January evening in 1977, in the family's 1968 Mercury Colony Park station wagon. It only took 10 minutes for that warehouse of an interior to warm up as I took my first solo trip as a licensed driver to pick up Dad from his commute out of New York City. I had to wait…

My garage is full of baby furniture from 17 years ago, dead relative furniture spanning 30 years, holiday decorations, various kitchen and household sundries and myriad other precious gems the The Resident Commandantess deems necessary for a blissful marriage. I need to start embezzling cash. Lot's of it.