Props to the old people showings. Personally I prefer the 10am closed caption viewing the Saturday after one of these opens. The captions scare most people away, so its rarely more than 30% full on opening weekend. I’m willing to deal with it if my wife and I get an entire half-row to ourselves.

Something something, Pennsylvania, something something

Gotta be something with horses...fox hunting!?

Jesus. I’m talking about Jesus.

Everyone who ever loved you was wrong

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son.

Back to the dacha, Sergei!

Fuck off.

Take a civics class, you morons. Potus is well within his rights to fire Mueller [You mean Rod Rosenstein] A 2 year investigation [Mueller was appointed 11 months ago] that’s turned up no actual Russian collusion [19 people and three companies have been indicted or pled guilty so far]. He should’ve been fired a long…

Atlanta is off to a pleasant 9-7 start, and incumbent third baseman Ryan Flaherty is hitting .354. It’s unlikely that Bautista will dislodge Flaherty...

Yes, it’s like he’s been Roughned up a bit.

This joke doesn’t stink, but it definitely has an Odor.

That’s a real punch to the face right there.

This motherfucker wanted to draw blood at the very least. You don’t get out of your car to scream at someone and then stick your hand in your pocket. That knife was 100% in his hand and all he wanted was the chance to use it.

Don’t ever talk to the police.

Based on my Facebook feed, I assumed public schools could be fixed by letting Jesus into the classroom.

replaced the excellent Jeremy Lin with the almost useless Ramon Sessions

They’re Goering to have a hard time finding anyone else to date, though.

I think these women are saying they did Nazi this coming.