I hate how I attracted I was (ok, am) to Vinny when he wore his glasses.

Pauly’s face in this makes my life

She was also so thirsty for the men on that show. She played that “I’m a guy’s girl and I don’t get along with other women” card hard. She probably realized that she was terrible in a fight and just stuck with the most ambivalent people in the cast (Vinny and Paulie).

I think the magic of Jersey Shore was that the cast did truly like each other in the end, and they had this sort of unattainable trashiness that always made you feel better about yourself (but they were proud of that trashiness, so you didn’t feel bad about judging them either).

OK, full disclosure: I was NOT looking forward to this reunion at all. I was a DIE-HARD fan of Jersey Shore in its heyday but after Snooki settled down with that douchebag Italian Napoleon, I completely lost interest. She grew up and while that’s great for her and everything, she brought that show to a screeching…

The theme song for Jersey Shore is permanently ingrained in my brainhole. I bet I can remember all of their terrible taglines:

My wife and I like to ask each other “Are you Sammi and Ronnie done or are you done-done?”

I used to work in an office with a receptionist who was just like this woman. I think she even did the same “um, huallow.” She was annoying as hell and I miss her so much. This is definitely the kind of person you want to start petty arguments in your office just so you can watch them unfold at lunchtime as people get…

Jersey Shore is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. It’s somehow both completely disgusting and yet weirdly heartwarming at the same time?

Kylie isn’t part Armenian, and Kim and co did film a special in Armenia, about the genocide, so that comment is kind of unfair and needlessly shitty. Women who know how to sell sex don’t necessarily have to be stupid or ignorant, and you sound bitter, frankly, for suggesting as much.

Princess

Why the eff is Karreuche Tran anywhere near a red carpet (also her dress is ugly and should have been hemmed). If Lena Dunham is there, please don’t report on her.

Yeah he should just set up a chromecast on the HDMI tv they have there in the chambers and connect it to the wifi. Then he should log into that wifi with a smartphone and hope that the devices on the network are allowed to see each other.

Fun fact: Fred Armisen did his pitch-perfect Penny Marshall impression for this memoir’s official book trailer. In it, Penny answers a phone call from Carrie.

I’m watching the hell out of this. I’ve missed him so much since Dont Trust the B**** in Apt 23 was canceled.

If The Beek is half as charming as he was on Bitch in Apartment 23, I will give this a whirl.

The stereotype that white people always carry ranch dressing around with them is not cool anymore. When you say ‘He’s already got his, that white boy over there’” don’t just fucking assume I’m carrying my own ranch dressing around with me you hurtful monster. I need it for my tenders and when you assume that I already…

Seconding the Kat Von D Trooper eyeliner. Easy to use, doesn’t dry out quickly.

Kat Von D’s eyeliner is great for this. It’s like using a calligraphy brush to put on eyeliner. You can get a good dupe from Jesse’s Girl that’s about $6-8 at Rite Aid.

This. Everyone needs a hobby. If I had her money and her body, that would probably be mine. Alas, I have neither, so my hobbies are currently wearing a lot of glittery eyeshadow and trying to figure out highlighter.