David Spade: Employed

i want them to get some of that sweet westerosi ass

She's absolutely correct. Women should always help other women. I'm sure that Taylor Swift has donated plenty of money to the Asma Al-Assad charity fund.

May the Hold Steady taste the Dornish man's wife

Horror movies are magnetic zeros.

Chubby Checker will soon learn about the Streisand effect. He sounds like kind of a Streisand already.

gotta say I'm very happy I'm not the only one who thinks this

I would love to see Todd's reaction to a Louie where all that happened was that Louis CK fucked Selma Hayek. And oh yeah,Louis is the one that gets naked.

Av club fucked up hard on this. I finished House of Cards on Monday. Need to know your audience.

This song was all 'hey look Community is back!'

Shia LaBoeuf: "People have to see my penis to watch this movie? That's perfect. I can finally live up to my name. Because it means The Beef in French. Get it?"

It says nothing about penises! YES!

It's illegal in Thailand to insult the king so I just want to take the opportunity to say that I know for a fact that the King of Thailand has no penis because he gave it to an underage boy as a sign of affection. To be clear, I mean pedophilic affection.

I wish someone would crucify Chris Brown.

I can honestly say that if that was a Allison Brie making out with Bar Rafaeli, I'd be less disgusted, but not by much.

She's got 99 problems but a lack of cigarettes ain't one. She should play Mac's mom in Always Sunny. Or cover Hurt by Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt.

I have a feeling this is going to be the new Grandma's Boy. I watched it while incredibly stoned one night and thought it was hilarious. Came back a few years later, and aside from a handful of throwaway gags, it's just not funny at all. I'd rather watch a day's worth of Pretty Little Liars, which I have, thanks…

Machine Gun President

I watched this with my girlfriend. Some of the performances were great, Rachel Weisz and David Strathairn in particular, but it really is a "wisp of a movie".

I don't want to be rich and famous if it means I can't violate my probation and kill aspiring rappers.