One of my favorite verses as a practicing Christian. I pray during my morning commute, and my fellow straphangers will never know because I keep my earbuds in. The ones screaming the loudest about their religion are usually the ones with the most to hide.

“OK, I see Sarah said my name 5,053,093 times. Definitely going to heaven. Wait, she praised an unapologetic sinner named Trump. Going down...”

I should stop reading them. It gives one a skewed view of the world, or at least of celebrities - all the men are gay, all the women are yachting, and everyone is horrible, a pedophile or a murderer. It’s an echo chamber and things become “fact” because they get repeated enough.

This is poetic. I can smell the ham and mayo in that terrible excuse of a sandwich. I can hear the fizzing of the Bud Light.

In addition to how obviously Islamaphobic and xenophobic this is, it is also just such a mean-spirited and petty way to deliberately ruin what should have been a wonderful day for Rep Johnson-Harrell. I mean, she was there with her whole beautiful family, happy and excited and proud to get sworn in, and then this shit…

I know, right?! As of about a week ago, there was someone in the comments who made it her mission to deconstruct how bullshitty the blinds are. I think it’s pointless, but she’s not wrong and I think she’s starting to get allies/snap some people back to reality. I think about that guy who rolled up to Comet Pizza with…

then slid into some Instagram model’s DM’s while eating a ham mayo sandwich washed down with Bud Light.

You’re right they probably just went home, told “Mother” they had work to do in the den, then slid into some Instagram model’s DM’s while eating a ham mayo sandwich washed down with Bud Light.

Fuck Emily Ratajkowski and her husband.

LMFAO! Afterwards, half of them went to a motel where they snorted an eightball of coke and Xans off their mistresses and got spanked by an underage midget.

You know how it is when you discover something new, and suddenly you wonder how you ever lived without it in the first place? Thank you. Just, thank you.

Pictures of Keanu doing things. https://twitter.com/keanuthings

Has your colleague Hazel forgotten Keanu SAVED all the people on the bus?!

If you’re trying to escape scandals involving children, women or animals, I do NOT recommend high-tailing it for Amish country.

Ladies, I’m loving and agreeing with all the Keanu posts, but where are the pictures?? It’s time someone else started having a good week besides our dickhead president.

If Keanu Reeves or Tom Hanks turn out to be monsters I will probably just give up on humanity.

I lived in Bakersfield for 5 years. Every landing is an emergency landing. Otherwise you’d be in LA or Vegas.

If he is, he’s really really good at keeping it a secret and pretending to be nice. And, although I like Keanu, I don’t think he’s such an amazing actor that he could pull off such a ruse for all these years.

Every once in a while I am reminded of my eternal Keanu crush, and this story of riding in a bus to LA only reinforces things. Every GD story I hear about him is so nice. I miss nice. *sigh*

Keanu is my perpetual crush. If he’s actually a shit, please don’t tell me.