On one of these articles someone asked which celebrity would crush you the most if these type of stories came out about them. A lot of the expected answers weee given like Tom Hanks. But I just realized for me it would be Weird Al. I’m not even a super fan or anything, but he seems so fundamentally decent that it…

You know what? From now on, all auditions have to be conducted in a public space and they need to be posted in the local newspaper a month ahead of time like a City Council meeting.

Listen to this man! He’s been over there fighting the good fight this entire time...oh, he’s been sitting in his underwear complaining on the internet?

Nurse I’m gonna need some bactine and a Snoopy bandaid I just cut myself on this immense edge.

You are not a good person.

That’s sweet: “sadly”.

Wait, skinny white insomniacs are sexy now? Yoohoo, ladies, I’m right over here!

It’s really Trump’s ideal situation: it provides red meat for the craziest parts of his base, will garner lots of media attention, and requires neither effort nor even a vague understanding of how anything works on his part.

Why does he suddenly look like a middle-aged pedophile?

I never fail to be amazed by the awful, amateurish tattoos celebrities get. I see Bieber has joined the club of unbearable male singers with lion tattoos on their chests, although his at least looks a little better than Ed Sheeran’s. The way this tattoo was just sort of lazily superimposed on another one you can still…

That’s why I got this tattoo of hands permanently clutching the tattoo of pearls around my neck.

You know this actually makes my day. Not the stupid tattoo, the fact that Justin Bieber’s hairline is already losing the battle with time at 23.

Dude needs a sober companion/friend to stop him before he commits to tattoos. No amount of lasers is going to be able to get that off and it looks really odd. OTOH it’s his body so I guess he can do whatever he wants to do to it. On a somewhat related topic: Eastern Promises is still an awesome movie.

I wish just one of the headlines about this would not give Trump credit for something that Congress decided in 1992. That shouldn’t be hard to do, given that he had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the decision to release the files, or the timing of their release.

Oh man, if I were him, I would have put the roaring bear a few inches lower so it’d look like his nipple was coming out of a roaring bear’s mouth.

I can see the FOX News chyrons now. 

“I like presidents who weren’t assassinated. Perhaps he was a war hero, but right now he’s said a lot of very bad things about a lot of people. Did you know he took away the rights of business owners to choose who they could or couldn’t serve? He was very against voter-ID laws, believe me”

I totally agree with this. I believe every word that Cross says here, it makes perfect sense. It is also totally offensive in the context that it happened, so he still should be apologizing for coming off as a racist, not simply explaining it away and insisting he isn’t racist. The recipient is the one who was…

I remember my classic “kissing another girl” character I performed for a long-ago girlfriend. It didn’t go over well.

When I do something shitty, it’s usually just character work. So this checks out.