I'll probably get flamed for this...

Just had my bachelorette party/weekend in Austin, which was awesome. I'm from the East Coast and my friends are spread all over the country so we picked a central-ish destination that would hopefully be warm (it was, sorta) rented a big Airbnb that we could all fit into that was centrally located, and didn't rent a…

Do you bless people's hearts?

Bless their heart....

My mother. Who took the opportunity during her toast to give my bride my bronzed baby shoes, saying "This is all I have left to give to you of my Gregory. The rest you've already taken for yourself"

My aunt is very much a free-spirit. She is also very much a fan of white wine. These two factors collided during her son's wedding, when she stripped down and went streaking back and forth across the massive picture windows of the wedding reception venue. Then she ran into the water to "cleanse the blessed union" and…

That expression is what heaven feels like.

Bond with babies wherever. They love it.

Don't you yearn for the days when you were small enough to fit in a sink? I know I do.

You should read the article later, it is very good and well researched and thought out. Basically the summary is that there is a little bit of evidence that routine infant circumcision might be beneficial to men, but it isn't conclusive. Most Western countries don't practice routine circumcision on men, and don't see…

I've worked in the entertainment biz in an advisory capacity for various projects and I can tell you some of the NICEST people I've ever encountered: Bono (public persona aside, he is an absolute dote and kind to everyone from the the top down), Andre Benjamin (so hot....so dope....want to have his babies), Peter…

I have a theory about people who become wildly successful/famous on the level that Steve has achieved: their relationship with their past, pre-fame and success, is an either or proposition. Either they embrace it. Or they shed it like a snake sheds its skin, leaving it in the middle of the road, to dry up and blow…

Ikr brb gonna go watch Matilda

Fuck my dream brunch, I want white wine & martinis & gowns with Gaga & Joan Collins.

Ever since we've had Boomers running for president and other supposedly important things, we've had to deal with 1970s historical photos and bad hair choices. I cannot wait for my generation, Gen X, to start taking its place at the helm: 80s photos where we look like we're in Echo & the Bunnymen and 90s photos where…

Wow, you just really want to make things the server's fault, don't you? Also, re-read the root beer story. He was TRYING to explain when she started shouting at him. So you have one story out of seven that would've been shortened (but wouldn't be as funny) if the server had asked a question or tried to clarify…

A friend of mine worked at a coffee shop and had customers repeatedly come in to order "chino."

I don't see what's dumb about customer No. 3. If you're watching your gluten, surely the safest thing is to store it in your stomach so it doesn't get lost?

The "lady" in the last story sounds like a real half-wheat...