Now you’ve done it. My frontal lobe has been liquefied.

Wouldn’t a calzone be a pizza dumpling? 

Hopefully this is a deviation from the Infiniti/Nissan lumpy and shiny design language they’ve had going for the past few years. I can imagine the feedback on rejected designs has been “NEEDS MORE ROUND LUMPY BITS, MAYBE 20% MORE SHINY TRIM”

Tooth cabinet is a great terrible high school band name

Rainbow brim hat man’s brain is OBLITERATED after the engine cover goes up in the trunk. You can almost smell the electrical fire that occurred in his head merely by watching the video.

This is alarmingly accurate. Is there a jeep with angry eyes version too?

Absolutely ice cold COTD material right here.

Maine Beer Company churns out some excellent products and is eons ahead of the other brews (save for allagash, that stuff is great as well).

The moose spent half an hour licking the car, and even licked Bryce’s hand, before they went back to sparing and wandering the plains.

At least you tried for a bit of alliteration on the “LOL Lousy Lease” wording. Points for that.

I write all my posts in Fortran on punch cards. Look at you Mr. Modern fancy pants and your IBM Selectric. Now if you will excuse me, my personal luxury coupe awaits. Steely Dan is playing tonight

He is now

Now I have an image in my head of Alec Baldwin’s CNR impression delivering a clearly terrified DJT to Yankee Stadium in an out of control carriage as Ivana cackles in delight. WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY TO ME

Essence is the higher trim. 

And literally every other car listing site out there right now. I have a short list of vehicles that consists of Toyota Sienna, Tourx, Mazda CX-9, and Subaru Ascent. The TourX dipping under 30k for an essence is making me want to pick up the phone and dial a few dealers. Sitting in one at the NY Auto Show impressed…

Sadly true. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS AMERICA.

That looks like a lower trim model. The essence has a bigger screen and some nicer interior bits.

Cheapest I can find an essence out this way is around 28. That’s still a darn decent price that has me getting itchy. There’s a few blue ones out there too. This is getting dangerous. 

That’s par for the course in New England. PB Blaster is sold by the 55 gallon drum. 

A used WRX/STI with suspiciously clean stock parts in the engine bay and on the body, especially if they are cleaner than the rest of the car. Extra red flags if they are accompanied by rounded bolts, stripped screws, visible loctite etc.