I love when writers not named Billy report the soccer news.

the man was treated very poorly towards the end of his tenure and to judge him on his silverware alone is a very tunnel-visioned perspective to hold.. what he meant to the club will likely only be fully appreciated by casual observers (as well as some of the most fervent) in hindsight.. i understand his regret, he…

“Inarguably inferior Croatia side”?? What??? This is a team that survived two straight penalty shootouts before this game, destroyed Argentina like a college football team destroys a high school freshmen team, kicked the hosts of this World Cup out of the tournament, has an amazing amount of experience in…

By the time you get to the 7th tie breaker it’s always going to be pretty arbitrary and dumb.

I was watching the game in a rust-belt, run down, death of the “working white class” neighborhood sports bar in southern Indiana (that fact alone was amazing to me), and the minute he appeared on the screen, the woman next to me at the bar said “I think I like soccer now.”

You always read these articles hoping that he's kinda just average looking and then the goddamn son of odin is straight up blowing angle smoke through the camera lens at you. 

In fairness, he is a pretty good looking dude. 

they need to hide some Germans on their team

You really can’t enjoy anything, can you?

Sees soccer post, nervously checks to see if Billy is responsible for it, sees he isn’t, clicks on it.

God, I bet you came while writing this; you’ve reached a new plane of starfucking I didn’t even know existed.

My girlfriend, a Brazilian living in Portugal, cannot abide Cristiano Ronaldo. After Bale’s second goal, she texted me to declare, “Real Madrid’s gonna win but if Ronaldo doesn’t score, he’ll consider it a loss and that’s good enough for me.”

Kudos to whoever edited out the other 8000 plus words.

I was giving broad strokes for our U.S. brethren. Yes, I’ve heard of the rebound in Hamilton, but a scant few years ago, there was this controversy:

Often I get into arguments about American sports adopting relegation as if it would be some magic competitive bullet. Imagine what the scene would be like if college football teams did this? Rioting would be the least thing to worry about if a team, say Alabama were get sent out of the SEC to the Southland Conference.…

“Retirement leagues” exist all over the place - both inside and outside Europe. When players can’t compete in Italy, Germany, England and Spain, they go to China, Japan, Brazil, and Turkey, etc. Just branding MLS with that label is really unfair. When players skills diminish, and want to keep playing, they step down…

It prolongs DC United’s credibility problem. No well-run MLS team would drop this sort of money on a player like Rooney.

I really don’t think Washington, DC is the place for an aging, unsophisticated has-been tabloid fodder of questionable competence who’s in denial about his hair loss and has been known to pay for sex.

“Upwardly mobile midtable club”, in Serie A? I don’t think Billy has ever actually looked at the Serie A table at the end of any recent season. If he had, he’d know that just about the exact same teams, over the past five years have all finished in those 7-13 spots. There’s no such thing as an “upwardly mobile…

For a site that shits on Bill Simmons and his endless droning about his favorite teams, this is a really long article about Bill(y)‘s favorite team.