“So please, just kick the damn thing into the center circle and try to win the second ball. You may lose the respect of soccer hipsters with words like “Trequartista” or “Guardiolismo” in their Twitter handles, but you just might win a few more points.”

You had to know it was coming, so:

I hope Cincinnati and Sacramento are selected in December for MLS.

“For all its many, many faults.”

Gareth Bale is a goddamn beast and it saddens me how he’s been treated in Spain.

This is the longest Why Your Team Sucks entry yet.

Its almost like the people who said you weren’t actually paying more for channels you didn’t watch and that unbundling might cost you more-were right

he bashed in the first goal of the season just three minutes into Arsenal’s opener against Leicester, which they won 4-3 in dramatic fashion.

It’s odd to me that Dr. Nerdlove over at Kotaku, a video game website, gives more empathetic, reasonable, healthy relationship advice than Jezebel, and he manages to do it with a far less condescending tone.

ugh same. Whenever I see a Haisley article I immediately click it, scroll down (which takes longer than most deadspin articles because no one can turn a ten word quote from Philip Lahm into a 5000 word anti-mls rant quite like ol’ Billy.) and dive into the savage mob that is the comment section in a Haisley article.

“MLS is bad because it’s structured to avoid financial collapse that befall clubs in Europe and isn’t designed to push power and wealth to the very top clubs.

It’s been fun scrolling down to the comments to check out people trashing Billy, but I just can’t click on these shit articles anymore.

Wait, so you crap all over MLS for bringing in older, past their prime, former European stars. But then you claim that India is making steps to become a relevant soccer country by taking those same players after they’ve already finished their run in MLS. Essentially, MLS’ sloppy seconds. Que Paso?

Isn’t that less than $20 million per club though per season? Then you have to take into account that any relegated club could potentially only see that amount once. Then they have to fend for themselves on six-figure media rights.

I understand MLS has its issues and needs to be raked over the coals every so often, but really, is there anyone else beside Billy fucking Haisley who can cover this sport for you guys?

The issue with the US is that it had to “erect” a top league without building up. MLS had to be constructed and was set up as a real aspirational league right away. The 2nd tier hasn’t caught up and the gap is too huge for pro/rel to really work. Why throw away teams with decent infrastructure and investment for teams…

Not to mention pro/rel has played a part in the extreme financial stratification of European football.

Point two is overlooked far too much. Yes, relegation and promotion would benefit teams like Cinci and the other lower level teams drawing in huge crowds. No one doubts they’d benefit. Most of the original teams of MLS are still struggling with attendance, popularity, and visibility into their own cities. Relegating a…

People forget that Euro clubs have the history and the financial backing to be the end-all, be-all of world soccer. And they can draw from across the entire EU, even when the countries put foreign player limits on the rosters.