You're not wrong.

Jesus, did everyone AMAZING leave Jezebel in the past few weeks?

I want to win a pissing contest so, so badly, and doing ridiculous shit for sex might just be the one thing I deserve a gold medal at. I'll give extra stories to show my desperation:

My cat was originally named Grayson. He is gray. NOPE.

A girl can dream....

How bout that whole quarterback being a rapist thing?

YOU DIDN'T LIKE THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD?????!!!??!!

WORD. I told my middle schoolers who were not originally stoked on studying Shakespeare that our principal thought it wasn't a good idea that we read "Othello," and suddenly it became the most popular unit of the year. (In case you're concerned, the principal was actually on board, and it was a semi-abridged/edited…

Mark, how did you get the douchey dudes beat at Jezebel? Because it seems like a good one, with prolific opportunities.

Excellently written. I LOLed at your description of the birthing tank. Yeah, I've never thought through the aftermath either.

I don't understand this joke but I still just laughed at it so hard I cried. Kudos.

This has nothing to do with the decline of vodka and everything to do with the amount of hipsters drinking whiskey because it's cool.

He could just as easily get angry and hurt me from me ignoring him. It's a lose-lose situation. Does that make sense to you?

That's a bad analogy. If I have a dog, I have chosen to live with it and do what is in his and my best interest to put up with it, teach it, and/or train it. For any dude who shouts at me on the street, I will (hopefully) not be seeing him again. So yeah, if a comeback is necessary, I'll do it. Also, his brain is…

I was 18 when this movie came out and in a new relationship with a boy who would go on to be my first love. We saw this together and I thought Garden State was MY LIFE. I saw it again and again with all of my friends throughout my freshman year of college. This movie was the best. Ever. I'm pretty sure I wrote a paper…

Ugh, yes, the battle of birth control. I always used condoms, first and foremost. But then one fell off during a drunken hookup with my boyfriend that I didn't notice and I regretted it and went to b.c. for backup. I started with the patch because I was young and irresponsible and didn't want to have to worry about…

Oh JFC. Let me summarize this article and coconut oil's usage in a few sentences:

These posters were on every wall at Emerald City ComiCon this year. It was appreciated.

relevant for everything ever. this picture never doesn't make me lol.

I've been high at the last couple of weddings I went to. At the last wedding in particular, I handed out some special cookies I had made. A ton of people took a piece. A ton did not. We drank as well. The dance floor was on fire the whole night and it was the most fun wedding I've ever been to. This is Seattle, but…