Abiogenesis is not mentioned in the original paper or the ScienceNOW and io9 articles. It's kind of implied in the headline here, but I think headlines at i09 are not written by the authors of the articles, which is a constant source of error and embarrassment.

Dear io9, neither the original paper, nor the SienceNOW article, nor your own article based on that says anything about abiogenesis, so your headline "Life on Earth might never have happened..." is a bit of a misleader, eh?

Ah, so it's planets all the way down, not turtles.

Karmic evolutionary repercussions for their stubborn dismissal of Darwin and his discoveries.

Umm, yes, depending on the definition of 'advanced', which by its very nature is not an absolute term, different species can be called 'more advanced' than others. We have no argument there.

I like my fungal zombies fried, with a big Amarone.

As I said, it depends on the meaning/context of the term 'advanced'. I am happy that we agree so far.

Media coverage/exploitation could still contribute significantly to mission budgets. Even if interest ebbs after months/years, it still would be high around crucial events. TV/Pay TV, Licensing and Merchandising rights could easily add up to 10+ billion over a decade or so.

Sure, it remains to be seen, but chances are we will not find out without actually doing it. Tricky to simulate/experiment for smaller mammals, close to impossible for humans.

Well, it depends on the definition of advanced obviously. Humans are more advanced in the cognitive area and, based on this, also in terms of environmental adaptability, knowledge creation, evolutionary fitness (for now), etc..

Or the 1997 independent gay-themed romantic drama?

Gravity on Mars is roughly 38% of Earth's, no 'not noticing much of a difference' stretches it a bit. Personally I would guess that 38% shouldn't lead to very detrimental effects, but who knows.

You lost me at "They lost me at "Sara Silverman..."".

Isn't every black hole moving, depending of reference frame?

Good thing Thor wasn't there.

Hahaha, c'mon, let's keep things in perspective. There's NOTHING Shia LaBeouf could credibly perform. Except maybe a Shia LaBeouf biopic. Maybe.

Three months of personal training on steroids can fix that. If Adrien Brody can do it, anyone can.

It's just a close-up, I guess both actors are perfectly capable of sitting on a bike on a trailer. Nah, it's JGL.

The Batman at 0:45 looks a lot more like JGL than CB.

Maybe you should talk to your deity about his obsession with his flocks' genitals - and whether it's really a good idea to create people with a sexual orientation that per default condemns them to eternal barbecue. You do speak to him, I take it?