I kind of skimmed because this was very long, but I would say two things: these girls don't sound like awesome friends to you. They are awesome friends to each other. It sucks to always be the third wheel. Maybe they're not who you need right now.

Yeah.I've contemplated the meetup thing. The problem is that not only am I married, I have two little kids, and so when the kids are awake I want to spend all my time with them, and when they're not I spend as much time as possible with the husband. Note to childless people: it is possible to sorely miss the company…

Her reaction was ridiculous. RIDICULOUS.

Spiced rum and cherry cola. I don't particularly like either of those things, but there is no other alcohol in the house other than a bottle of cheap port I bought for cooking and some triple sec.

Here's what you need to do: ask what the deal is. Be up front about it.

What do you have against goats? Eh? EH?

Depressing! But accurate.

Dude. How do you make friends when you're out of school? School — high school, college, law school — is where I have met literally ALL of my friends. It's where I met my husband. I do not have a single close friend that I didn't meet one of those places. I'm now an old married person in my early 30's. In a few months…

Yeah, that makes sense. I don't fault you, if you are looking for a relationship, for being open about what you want. That is an admirable quality.

Listen dude, I can only speak from my own experience here, but as someone who is nothing extraordinary in the looks department but reasonably attractive, I have never once manipulated a guy because I knew he thought I was hot. And I totally have had lots of male friends who I knew thought I was hot. I just didn't take…

But do you do this with EVERY attractive girl you meet? Every one? You can't possibly. It's fine if you're looking for a relationship or sex or whatever and you're upfront about that. I just have an issue when dudes are like, I'm only friends with ugly girls/I make an immediate judgment about whether or not I want to…

Fight you for him.

Because that is what adults do.

See, this is the problem — don't fucking separate people into categories in the first place. I think how most women work is, we have a giant pool of friends. Those friends include males. Some of those males we would maybe sleep with if given the chance. Some of them we wouldn't. Sometimes those categories are fluid,…

This is the only possible adult, mature way to behave.

?? I think it's weird that you routinely excluded attractive women from your possible friends list. It doesn't seem like you were evaluating them as people, but rather whether or not they could satisfy your boner. If they could, then no use being friends with them because some day you might want to fuck them and those…

I love this. This entire article. So fucking true.

I used to write healthcare POAs and this is a pretty common thing for women of childbearing age to have in their POAs.

1. Cool name.