These cuts of a few million here and there (all in areas designed to make education more accessible to poor and working class Americans) are just heartless and arrogant. But moving hundreds of millions to parochial schools is arguably unconstitutional (and that money will, of course, end up way disproportionately…

A “loving husband” who had to resign amid allegations of sexually harassing practically every woman who ever worked at Fox News.

So, when Scalia died, all my friends were like, WHOO HOO! PARTY TIME IN AMERICA! I quietly said nothing, and although I agreed with the sentiment that the SCOTUS and country are better off without him anywhere near a position of power, I recognized that he was still a human person deserving of basic human dignity (we…

McConnell, defintely. I would take personal pleasure in seeing tears (which I doubt he’s capable of) streaming down his stupid turtle face.

Step 1) “Please put your phone away”

Or, how about you be an adult and adhere to the social contract that we have all agreed to when going to a fucking movie theater. I didnt pay 15 bucks to be distracted by your shit.

The theaters literally ask you to turn off your phone before the movie.

How is that any different to some awful child checking every notification for Snap chat and Insta every few minutes? Are you waiting on a kidney? Is Grandma on her last legs? If so, maybe you shouldn’t be at the cinema!

Your shitty phone is literally impossible not to notice if you’re seated in front of me. If you’re off to the side? I still see the blinding light of your phone. If you’re in the center? I still see the blinding light of your phone, even if I deliberately look away. No matter what direction I look, if you’re in front…

I go to Alamo Theaters. I will have you thrown out for talking or texting. It’s a pleasure and the policy of the theater I like to exercise. Whine to them that you’re too special to care about the rest of the theater for your precious texts

Thankfully Alamo Drafthouse will kick people out for using their phones during a movie. I don’t go to them, but it’s a great policy.

It is not unreasonable to expect someone to not look at their phone for 2 hours. In a dark movie theater, the bright screen of a phone is immediately noticeable in your peripheral vision. C’mon you already know this.

No, fuck off, you have no defense. The money you paid to be in the theater isn’t more valuable than the money other people paid to be in that theater. You want phone time, go where the phone booths used to go, outside the fucking theater.

Hard no. The whole point of watching a movie in the theater is to be in an immersive environment free of distractions. The ideal experience is supposed to be in the theater.

I can guarantee that nothing you will ever do in your life is so important that it can’t wait 90 minutes. If you are in the midst of a crisis you can stay the fuck home.

Maybe you stop looking at your tiny screen and focus on the giant one in front of you. I may spend too much time on my phone—just ask my boyfriend—but on the rare occasion I go to the movies (and I rarely go because tickets are fucking expensive), I turn my phone off when the lights dim. I’m pretty sure there’s…

The theater tells you before the showing that cellphones are distracting and not to ruin the movie for everyone else. 

“If you’re that distracted, don’t go to the movies”

Counterpoint: Be a decent human being and keep your tiny screen in your pants while watching a movie. Or, god forbid, walk out to the entrance where you won’t bother anyone else.

I know it’s not an “emergency” becuase you’re still in the fucking theater. You’re phone is a giant blinding light flickering.. it’s not about staring at your selfish ass. I didn’t pay good money to watch people yank out their phones every minute and a half