It sounds like Caesar in the new Planet Of The Apes movies. Creepy, but very cool.

Obligatory:

The second one, supposedly a normal human, is also awful. Based on the only changes I can detect (a more strained, squeezed quality) it seems like monkeys would sound like cartoons used to assume. Like a human, but small and squeaky.

Wow, you went to that special thought place lightning fast! Impressive!

Since the human version of the simulation is equally awful, something tells me the creep factor is not due to the macaque’s larynx...

Yes! This. Kids love, love, love to help and share. We need to nurture this, not “show them how it feels” by withholding a gift at gift time. All that is likely to teach them is to lash out at others in a punitive way when they personally feel distressed about something.

the manufacturers of morphine, propofol, and other drugs, such as the one used to euthanize pets, are European Union-based and have threatened to halt import of EVERY medication they make if one of them is used for an execution.

The drugs are different. Pets get better drugs then prisoners.

I assume they chose “Will you marry me?” for maximum horror.

A photo representation of future cabinet meetings.

“She adds, “He’s a very transparent guy. Everyone can see what he’s doing...”

Yeah, sadly I was only half kidding- purchasing some books and art supplies would probably be wise too.

Get them a gas mask. Children will think they are cool as hell. They’ll wear it for Halloween and everything and it’ll be useful.

Yeah, I don’t really get this ridiculously cynical essay. Your kids will experience the adversity necessary to build character soon enough without your conscious interference.

No kids here either. . . but I vote they get science kits from Santa to prepare them for one day inheriting an earth that has become a toxic wasteland.

Give the 3 year old some cat toys and a box. They’ll be happy as a clam :D

I have a new OB and she told me on our first meeting that their practice does 18 week anatomy scans instead of 20 week scans because of the law in South Carolina that limits abortions past 20 weeks. She said it’s not medically the most ideal thing to do the scan two weeks early, but they hope that any major anomalies…

And then the inevitable “You should have thought about that before having sex” kick in the pants.

You cut all of the funding for places that provide discounted and free contraception. Now I’m pregnant. What am I going to do?

I went through this with an ex-fiancee of mine. The loss still punches me in the gut from time to time, even almost 10 years later. Screw these assholes.