The only time he wasn't in focus was when he had to pee. I hope.

I ate a shoelace and it came out of my ass tied. I shit you knot.

I swallowed a metal ball the size of a large marble. It magically reappeared in my poop 2 days later. Ta da!

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what a hero looks like.

My dog eat poop, her poop stranger dog poop, whatever. She will NOT kiss my face ever.

"will devour everything like a furious starving t-rex"

A gal that is willing to go that far, I ain't touching... I had a lady offer me a hummer once to get her a good deal. I looked her said thanks ma'am, but I'd really rather just have your money. It does happen though. I saw more of that doing door to door sales in my younger, wilder, pre-Jesus days. When I didn't care…

Because GIF's / images aren't accepted right now:

That's not how you drag your safes? That's how I drag my safe.

somebody saw the Dukes of Hazard movie it looks like. kinda disappointed Johnny Knoxville wasn't riding on it.

Thanks to some fool now i can't post pictures of Vin Diesel and Paul Walker dragging a safe in souped up chargers. Damn!

An unarmed 6'3" 300lb young man who prevented an officer from answering a call by beating the shit out of him and after the officer went to arrest him, he went to attack again and ended up being shot out of defence.. YUP, unarmed and completely innocent young man. Rioting and looting started over this and now has…

actually, the USPS first, then the police.

Some people were so outraged because of the shooting, they looted this store:

This is what the police did after they fired tear gas at the Al-Jazeera reporter.

Everyone crying, "If you haven't did anything wrong you have nothing to worry about!"

It is a good time to be an American car fan, you have Chevy having a monster hit with the C7 and the upcoming Z06, we have Dodge setting their brains aside and building from the heart cars like the Challenger and Charger hellcats and we have Ford with the upcoming and exciting Mustang and the mysterious SVT (GT350?)…

it appears to be a garage with a bar.... Do you have any idea how many problems that would solve for me.

Who decided to do a product launch in a New England diner?

OMG yes! I'm gonna steal that. It's like panhandling for pussy.