If it was really a joint practice they’d be much more relaxed.

Homer/City of Los Angeles: What’s the problem here?
Lisa/Rams: We were fighting over which one of us loves you more.
Homer: You were? Aww... Go ahead.
Bart/Chargers: You love him more.
Lisa: No, you do!
Bart: No I don’t!
Lisa: Yes you do!

Looks like the step kids can’t get along,

As I’ve said many times before, I’m from the south, and have never lived anywhere else. As a southern liberal, I’m part of a tiny minority, and I long ago gave up hope that the region would be joining the rest of the world any fucking time soon. Because this place is populated by people who believe the hype. They…

This is America, where pro-labor = Communist.

Our receiving corps has a more constantly rotating cast of forgettable white guys than Dr. Who.

You don’t know who’s in his dildo group. What if there are multiple Toms sharing dildos? Things could get awkward.

Jesus Christ, I’m a lifelong Bills fan and even I found J’s story depressing. I’m sorry man. Find a therapist.

Also, Steph Curry would get a suspension for...oh, let’s say Moe.

Other things whose newness Mrs. Petchesky inquired about this summer:

Even Trump’s wording is infuriating. He talks like a guy who just finished watching old war movies and is now acting out a fantasy while playing with real lives. He would happily lose countless lives if it means he gets to build up his tough guy persona.

El Dictator is already asking his staff how many Electoral College votes he got from Guam.

A boisterous threat made from a boorish man sitting in New Jersey. Sounds about right. 

This guy really doesn’t understand that words can be real.

one idiot masterbating in front of the other... there won’t be any happy endings for anyone though

He’ll look pretty much the same.

“Fire and fury” sounds like something Kim Jong Un would say.

“Burn the fucker down.”

This answers all.