My roommate and I used to make cocktails and bait the same guy on tinder until he realized what was up.

I'm pretty sure Tori's entire catalogue counts.

Right! A bottle of wine, a few bonghits, and thou....

I like it when guys brag about how much money they make, because it let's me know to stay the fuck away from them.

Years ago I hosted Speed Dating as a second job after moving to a new city. I figured I might meet some cool chicks to make friends, and, who knows, I might meet a hot dude.
I came across so many douchey guys - particularly older guys. We would run two groups at a time, grouped by age. At least a couple of guys…

I like to imagine that multiple black women have called him a punk and his oblivious takeaway was that they thought he was Ashton Kutcher.

Patrick Bateman was better at hiding it.

If he's so superior and rich and hot and she's such an ugly fat bitch, why did he even message her in the first place? I mean... come on, man.

I don't know, around the "You're an Account Manger" line I probably would have hung on just to see what was coming next. You can't even be mad at this shit, it's too fun watching him crash and burn.

This guy isn't even trying to be cool enough for a fedora, it's strictly backwards baseball cap for this bro.

Too much speed, and too many Ashton Kutcher movies, have led this logorrhoeic moron to think that he deserves this woman to do with as he wishes, because he probably thinks he's a Nice Guy[tm].

Just...bro...STOP TALKING! What on earth?? You say "you can put my meat in your mouth" then say SHE'S disrespecting you?? I've never seen such desperation. If she's so hideously fat with alien eyes, why'd you swipe right in the first place? Take your 32k and buy yourself something pretty, broseph. You deserve it after…

Well, that changes everything!

This guy is going to kill someone someday. Heaven help anyone in front of him in line who gets the last cookie or movie ticket.

The more I read about this, the more it legit starts to sound exactly like the schoolyard wedding I officiated in fourth grade. Except legally recognized.

I love them and wish them the best but "a suit from his closet". Really? Like it wouldn't already be a top of the line super expensive nice suit. It isn't like he has some off the rack thing from JCPenny hanging in there.

You sound like you would be better off commenting on PerezHilton or DailyMail.

It's disappointing but she doesn't have natural style tending to err on the side of matronly. The family pic is adorable however.

OMFG I totally had an empire waist dress with a ruched bodice from Delia's!! I wore it into the ground. I wonder what classic Delia's footwear she paired it with....

You are telling truths. It looks like every other fancy 90s gown-spaghetti straps, shiny fabric, ruched boob area, plain otherwise.