#1. I’m so incredibly glad now that the Dodgers didn’t trade for him.

*rolls eyes*

Now we know why Andrew Friedman did not acquire the one piece the Dodgers absolutely needed at the deadline!

In his defense, he was told that, after the season, there’s a chance he could go back to the minors.

don’t have sex with kids.  can not stress this enough

Subway has reached out to his agent on his availability.

But why would Dolphins fans be burning Charlotte Hornets jackets?

Can we root for them to be so bad that the 1972 Dolphins retroactively have their perfect season stripped so we never have to hear about it again?

I like the thought of outraged Dolphins fans taking to the streets and burning arguably the coolest 90's Starter jackets.

The #MeToo movement never really hit sports.

Don’t worry, guys.  I found a matching thumb donor.  From one Drew to another.

Maybe his conversion therapy buddies can pray him back onto the field sooner.

The NFC South has pledged to pitch in and suck so hard that the Saints will still skate through to the playoffs.

Couldn’t have happened at a worse time for the Saints. They already got a win this season so now they won’t be able to tank for Tua.

Dummy. Everyone knows the only way to stop Romelu Lukaku is to hire Jose Mourinho to coach him.

Geezus christ, at least in the US the pundits have the decency to use codewords like “athletic” and “naturally gifted” and the less flattering “inmates” and “thugs”. But then again, maybe Italy’s better for passing on the euphemism bullshit and going full steam ahead with the racism train?

The hell I don’t!! LISTEN KID! I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at Auburn! I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Olsen and Benjamin up and down the field for 60 minutes.

He’s got the yips, and when a quarterback has the yips, there is only one thing left to do.

“If you can’t make it work in Santa Clara, just do what we did and move everything to Altamont!