I love learning.

Consider me enlightened.

Or we could acknowledge this sucks not get in to a sympathy competition. There are plenty of well wishes to go around.

Say what you want about her but she is graceful yet tough as shit and a fighter. If only she had won... Instead we got a guy who can’t find his asshole with two hands and a flashlight.

We’re required. It’s in the contract.

omg Tina “cozy man-cage”! Now I know *exactly* what to ask Santa for.

I’ve dated guys Dwayne’s size, and I’m quite petite. You’d think it’d feel like that but it doesn’t. It’s more like being surrounded by a cozy man-cage.

Ugh. I can hear it already. And it sounds like one of those educational programming videos from the late 80's/early 90's, where some clueless, older, white person thought the way to appeal to adolescent learning was to make dorky white kids rap it.

Dream Renee Kardashian

Can we all calm down with the selfies?

THAT CHEEK!!!

Also, why do these people, WHO DON’T KNOW ME, care so goddamn much about my occasional pizza selection. Let a bitch live, damn.

Do not spend a second of your life worrying about me.

He’s a billionaire, gets Mariah, and thinks he doesn’t have to spend even though, let’s be honest, his face.

Right? Like, she’s literally a diva. Literally.

IN RELATED NEWS: WATER NOW WET

When did he first suspect?

There was literally a concert special by VH1 called Divas. She was in the first one. And everyone saw it, because this was pre-streaming internet and smartphones so music television channels actually mattered.