A hasty haiku attempt:

Jason I think you accidentally found your next story. Automotive crimes committed over patent or copyright battles.

For sure. But how do you improve by only 0.4 mpg?

I think with their average speed aerodynamics doesn’t really factor that much

Not defending the choice of these turds in any way but consider that these trucks are basically doing stop and go every 60-80 ft in an urban neighborhood and I can completely understand how the mileage is going to be complete crap. I expect that if you did this drive cycle in a Honda Fit you would get crap mileage as…

It’s just simply not worth it. We see how it ended in this instance, and we’ve now seen multiple instances of people pulling guns. It’s just not worth it. It’s to the point where if I see two people aggressively driving and clearly antagonizing one another, I get as far away as I can for fear of gunfire erupting.

If you actually read all the ‘negative’ articles about Tesla on Jalopnik, you’ll note that almost all of them are caveated with positive statements about the vehicles engineering, capabilities and the impact of Tesla on the broader automotive market. But they don’t spend 12 paragraphs repeating that because there’s…

This.

This.

I know that the point of these articles is that they write themselves, but whoever assembles the slideshow could at least work 10 minutes to Google the pre and post-facelift pics and stick them together on Photoshop.

it’s shocking to me that they didn’t do before and afters, it’s twice the clicks!

So Jalopnik really out here making us all resort to google to see the before and afters, huh.

Aside from CV joints, the things were bulletproof. Also, the spare up front was a nice conversational piece.

WAT
I had an ‘82 GL wagon, dark green, 4 speed manual, and the lifesaving 4 low shifter for Colorado mountain winters.
I got it for free from the neighbors when the clutch went out on my first car, the ‘89 Beretta.
I drove that thing into the ground, love-hated it as a 17 year old in high school but it always got me to…

Magic crystal; just wow. 

The (understandable) guilt trip: “I didn’t think quickly enough, and the result was a destroyed Chevy HHR and a bruised up Lincoln MKZ.”

What does a chip shortage have to do with running a website? I love the trio but nothing in that message seems to point to a real reason they had to shut down. The ongoing financial losses seem the more likely factor

I mean, there’s lots of stupidity in this story, but if the engine failed and a storm kicked up, what exactly were they supposed to do? Probably shouldn’t have panicked and swam to shore, but all in all, I don’t think it’s totally fair to blame the employees in this case. Could have happened to someone more experienced…

Wow..What a terrible, terrible take.

I’m a jerk that adjusts prices for inflation when people complain about how expensive things are getting.

You can literally walk across almost the entire northern border unimpeded.