Ted Cruz combines the charisma of a mortician with the political savvy of the kid who wears a suit while running for high school class president.

MEET ME BEHIND THE WHOLE FOODS MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!

Part of me wishes the MOB had been even less polite.

Meta, but Cowboys were abusing Redskins as recently as the early 1900's. Yes that was a pedant response to the meta comment. Either way, great work.

Cowboy abuses Redskin woman.

Seriously, Tom, can you guys please fucking focus on what really matters: did he stand respectfully during the pledge of allegiance or not?

Jerry needs to remind the players not to wear their jerseys while they’re beating women.

Very disrespectful to the military.

Please, we all know Hillary was the reason that stage collapsed. And, she was the one who stopped the reporters from accompanying the cameras through the hotel. When will she address this controversy? What is she hiding?

You know what’s frustrating?

To late:

im going to create a gun that vibrates and doesnt shoot and make so much money

Is it okay if I- white, straight, male- play this game, too? Because I like it!

A GREAT POINT MADE BY MY COLLEAGUE STASSA and furthermore LET’S ALL LISTEN TO WHAT STASSA JUST SAID

So I think we should have a debate with no moderator.

P.S. Thank you for your 18 years of hard work on behalf of the kiddos.

Most of u know that I have been a special needs teacher/administrator for nearly 18 years, the only job I have ever known. Excuse me now, there is a huge lump in my throat and I’m sobbing as I write this. Of the hundreds of children with special needs that I have worked with, I can tell you that every single one of…

Counterpoint: Science tells us she’s made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

That first Von Miller hit was the kind that makes you think “Peyton would have gotten that call 100% of the time.”