Shut the fuck up.

For drinking beer at Coors Field?

Congratulations, you're everything wrong with this country.

go fuck yourself.

This guy also has dual citizenship with Jortlandia

omg totally agree, women never marry their abusers that's why the word "wifebeater" is so wierd

You're a real piece of shit.

No, you definitely aren't sure what I'm getting at; I'm referring to Josh Gordon, who is facing a season-long suspension for smoking pot.

Meanwhile, a 23 year old kid will be suspended for most of the season for being a 23 year old kid.

This is more fun than the game in State College where coach wouldn't let you out of his shower.

This is technically the third prank. The second was convincing him that playing for the Padres is "getting called up to the big leagues."

Bird: Don't get too close guys. I heard you can die from contact.

Hey Becks, no need to build a stadium, you've already erected something in my dungarees.

This is absofuckinglutely perfect. Plus, a guy got butthurt about a football game that happened months ago.

"Whoa, that's Marshawn Lynch"

Everything Boston is original. Just ask the nearest Bostonian.

A copy of Uggla's contract.

Makes no difference whether he really wanted to go to UCLA. The point is now there is a chance he CAN'T. Which is stupid.

Pictured: Matt Bonner in a simulated Spurs game.

Looks about right.