I AM PART MAGNET NOW I’VE HAD SO MANY MRIS. ACTUALLY, I’M GOING FOR A CATSCAN THIS AFTERNOON! JUST BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Sorry I couldn’t hear you over the free MRI I just received. FOR NO REASON AT ALL! JUST FOR KICKS! BECAUSE I CAAAAN(adian)

HES ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

IT RAINS IN SEATTLE AND IS NEVER SUPER NICE

HEY what’s wrong with being Canada?

Sincerely, all of Canada.

Meanwhile, here in the midwest, we have plenty of water, plenty of lakes, and complete lack of hurricanes or droughts.

3rd Coast is the best coast. Great Lakes 4 Lyf Son! Unsalted and shark free is the way to be!

OK, for real, I was waiting ALL goddamn day to make this one. I had it cued up from the word go.

Your opinion re: the minimum wage don’t impress me much.

Man! I feel like a woman (who only makes 78 cents per every dollar a man makes)!

This guy is saying Shania Twain would have never recorded music like that’s a *bad* thing.

I’m laughing right now, because if I don’t, I will kill myself with the pizza wheel I just found in our bedroom for some reason (why?).

And even now with such a BLATANT example of white privilege we still have people claiming that there’s no white privilege.

DADD culture? Enlighten a non-American

Purity balls? Like testicles? Purity Testicles. Hmmmm... those dads ARE perverts.

If we can blame everything bad that happens in black communities as the fault of absentee fathers, can we blame this on the presence of white fathers?

If Duggar was not from a prominent right-wing cult, or was Black, gay, or had molested boys, Huckabee and all the other Duggar apologists would be screeching a very different tune.

I’m so sick of Kim bitching about how she’s gained weight. Sweetie, you’re a millionaire. You can afford a personal trainer and a nutritionist. And if you really wanna go there, maybe you should consider removing whatever you put in your ass years ago.

Haha gross your parents had sex

To me, the MOST annoying thing about pro/anti abortion debates is this notion that one side can "prove it's a baby!" or the other can "prove it's a fetus!"