Or don’t use those products. Then you never have to worry!

I will always be one of those smartasses who comes to these articles to respond “Don’t use Alexa or Google Home.” Problem solved.

Will that Fast and Furious game be able to run on my Xbox 360? It’s uggggggggly.

Ooh, let’s play GOP Mad Libs:

Their reverie is shattered by a fatal offscreen car crash, which leaves Marla as an unlikely head of household, and—four years later—Charlie still chafing against her newly grim sense of responsibility.

Except in 1977 everyone didn’t have smartphones and were willing to leak the tiniest details about upcoming Star Wars films to the press and sites like this one.

Go see Knives Out. That is all.

Mirah “Cold Cold Water”

The Spotify list is called ‘Reddit Top Unknown Songs’ and yet it contains songs like “Everything’s Ruined” by Faith No More, which was the first single off Angel Dust, and “American Jesus,” which was the first single off Bad Religion’s Recipe for Hate. Both great songs, but c’mon, people.

Or stop using Facebook. Sorry, I meant “stop using FACEBOOK.”

I’ve dressed as Gordon Freeman several times now (complete with crowbar) and was rewarded with blank stares. It’s hard enough explaining video game characters but as the culture moves on, it gets even harder explaining old video game characters who never got the sequel they deserved.

Obviously hopping on a plane every month or so would be unrealistic because it’s damn expensive. It would make more sense to sleep with someone who works on an airline, like a pilot or flight attendant. The monster could be chasing them for months.

I’m ambivalent toward Steely Dan but I will die on the hill of THE DOORS SUCK SHIT. Also Nirvana was overrated. Bleach was their best album.

It Follows left me with many, similar questions. What if you were on a plane? Would the creature/spirit thing also hop on a plane? If you crossed the ocean, would it walk underwater to get to you? And if you flew back when it finally reached the other side of the ocean, would it say “F&*k it!”?

Cultist sheepishly knocks on the front door. “Erm, has anyone seen a disembodied flaming skull named Tony?”

Wish I had seen this article before I decided to buy a 27-inch HDTV as an office monitor. I thought “Why not?” but discovered quickly that reading text on it is awful.

That’s why it burns during exorcisms!

For when you absolutely have to kick a demon in the crotch.

That was my first thought, but the more I listen to it, the more it sinks in. It really is a beautiful album.

For some reason, the vocals really bother me on My Woman. It sounds like she’s off-key on several songs, and definitely not in an endearing way. Maybe it’s just me.