Jesus, this, next to terrorism, is my biggest fear in NYC. I always stand far back from the yellow line when the train is coming in and try to stand near a pillar (because I think that I could grab onto it. I probably couldn’t. But. You know).

I love that she’s wearing a cross while defending a guy who is nearly the complete opposite of everything Jesus represented.

If you don’t want your daughter to hear the word “pussy” maybe don’t let her watch the segment where you’re defending Donald Trump bragging about grabbing women by the pussy. That’s like going on Twitter on a Sunday night and complaining about Game of Thrones spoilers.

i miss the old jezebel

Wait. Is this story heartwarming or heartbreaking? On the one hand, it seems very sweet of the police to cook for these two and offer them a bit of company. On the other, I cannot get my own Italian grandparents (Nonno and Nonna) out of my head. They are alone in their house and I have never cooked THEM pasta! Nonna…

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

This storm should meet my good friend, Florida.

This is tasteless and I don’t care for it. My infant daughters saw that image and now they’re all screaming in unison. Thanks, Deadspin.

They were driving high and endangering other innocent motorists on the road, sure I’d rather they’d not be dead, but fuck ‘em. These are the kinds of people who wipe out other people’s families simply because they’re getting their own jollies off.

So the 21-year old with a 5-year old was being irresponsible? Get out of town.