Apocalypse Brown

To be honest, I'm not sure I've ever heard [a good luge joke]."

Way to go ESPN, merging two controversial topics in the NFL right now into one piece, an openly gay player and the effects of CTE on ex-players.

This'll deal a devastating blow to Russia's reputiation as a bastion of diversity, tolerance, and civility.

You got a better way to happify?

Followed shortly by the worst attempt at finding a better replay angle of all time.

He's got a point about your lack of journalistic integrity. You guys never got Lennay Kekua's side of the story, either.

Uh, there was an actual Supreme Court behind the tarp, wasn't there?

Not here. It isn't like he didn't want to come back, problem is we had another NFL quality QB sitting on the bench about to enter his second to last season. It sucks that he didn't finish his college career at NC State but we can still claim him since he actually graduated there. I wish him nothing but the best and…

Yes.

As a Franklin Delano Roosevelt fan, I am really disappointed that he didn't win Maine in the 1936 Presidential Election.

Shut the fuck up.

Yes, let's have Popovich focus on the interviews, not the game. After all, it's not like he takes winning seriously, anyway, what with his five trips to the finals and 16 trips to the playoffs in 17 years. What a smug asshole. Doesn't he realize that he's on TV?

"I can't believe I washed the hole thing."

The tweet's gone now, possibly because the internet is not large enough to hold so much regret.

Meanwhile, children in New Orleans and Charlotte are granted their final wish - to die with dignity.

Don't worry, there is still nothing more stereotypically hipsterish than having moronic opinions about what sports are acceptable for people to say they enjoy. You are secure in your position.

When...the ball hits your glass

I do have to say that part of me agrees with the point that Mushnick is trying to make. Take, for example, when Jim Nantz says "hello friends" to start a broadcast. Nantz and I have never even met, and if you were to look up "friends" on wikipedia, surely the act of meeting would be a vitally important prerequisite…

I can't believe it's Rocca who irrationally votes for Hideo, yet it's Le Batard who gets Nomo vote ...